My best friend from college and I use Halo 2 (then Halo 3, and now Halo: Reach) as a means for keeping in contact even though we now live hundreds of miles apart. We’ve also gotten pretty damn good at the game in the process, but that often doesn’t translate into Team Objective wins since the average Xbox Live gamer has the teamwork instincts of a monkey on acid.
Well, a few weeks ago, we were playing a 1-Flag CTF game on the map “Paradiso.” This is a scenario that almost inevitably leads to a 0-0 tie, assuming the teams are remotely even, because the map solidly favors whichever team is currently on defense. Therefore, if you can score even once, you most likely win the game.
We’d already played four or five previous matches on Paradiso that day. All of them had played out as 0-0 ties. Our previous strategy had been to try to complement what our teammates were doing, as past experience had taught us that it’s futile to try to give random Xbox Live kids to follow any plan we conceived of ourselves. No luck so far.
So for this game, for the hell of it, we decided to just forget our teammates entirely. Screw 'em, we thought. By and large, they’re a bunch of racist, homophobic 10 year olds who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Internet in the first place.
Our team (Blue) was assigned to offense, and we both selected the active camo loadout, which would give us the ability to turn semi-invisible (depending on running speed) for limited periods of time while also scrambling the radars of all nearby players. Once we spawned, we made a beeline for the nearest Mongoose (tiny two-person ATV) and gunned it straight up the mountain paths - the most direct route to the Red base.
We ditched the Mongoose in the cave tunnel, and activated our invisibility as we ran for the enemy base. As I said before, active camo doesn’t actually cloak you entirely, especially when running, but it does obscure you enough that getting a straight shot can be difficult for your opponents. And more importantly, it puts red “bad guy” blips all over everybody’s motion trackers, so the enemy can’t tell what direction you’re coming from. This was crucial, as the Red team’s Scorpion tank (which normally wreaks havoc with any direct assaults on foot on this map) was aiming away from our zone as we started our attack, so it couldn’t see us leave the caves.
We made it under the base with a little time to spare before our active camo wore off, so my friend dashed off to deal with the Scorpion tank (which, as is normal for this map, was parked near the base). As the tank still had no idea where we were, and thus had its turret pointed in the entirely wrong direction, he was able to leap onto the tank and drop a grenade down its gullet. Exeunt Scorpion.
Meanwhile, I was rushing up the rear entrance of the base to grab the flag.
It should be noted, at this point, that the tank is the only member of the enemy team we’ve directly encountered. This is crucial: by luck, our opponents were actually executing something of a coordinated plan, one that involved taking map control ASAP and claiming all the power weapons. This can, under normal circumstances be a pretty effective defensive strategy, as a competent tank driver and Banshee pilot can hold off the early waves long enough for the rest of the team to establish dominance over the map and prevent the team on offense from ever even touching your flag.
Of course, this was not normal circumstances. That being said, our active camo had worn off and I was horribly, horribly exposed - and now the Red team knew we were at their base. They were, no doubt, scrambling back home and pointing their DMRs straight at the nearest patch of Red base they could find. Even from halfway across the map, a good DMR shot would be able to take me out in seconds. Compounding our difficulties was the fact that carrying the flag significantly slows your movement speed in Halo. The run between the Red base and the safety of the cave tunnels, which flies by on the way in, can feel like pushing through molasses on the way back.
And even assuming I made it to the cave tunnels was no guarantee that I was home free. If the Red team figured out what route I was taking back, they’d hunt me down long before our own reinforcements would arrive - after all, I was running slowly, unable to shoot, and still much closer to Red base than Blue base. I couldn’t even “juggle” the flag, a semi-unethical technique that restores a flag carrier to normal running speed at the cost of revealing where that flag carrier is to the opposing team.
At this point, I have just hopped down the front of the Red base, carrying the flag and starting my run for the caves. Thinking fast, my friend decided to attempt a distraction, hoping to draw off the Reds long enough for me to disappear into the middle of the map.
We knew that most of the Red players would be coming back from the structure on one side of the map that held the Spartan Laser, and that those who weren’t would probably be somewhere on the mountaintop, preparing to DMR-snipe spawning Blues. So ideally, my friend would draw the Reds even further away from the underground tunnels. He jumped into one of the Red team’s own Mongeese, and drove straight for the Spartan Laser structure.
This had two important effects on the Red team’s thinking. First, their immediate assumption upon hearing the distinctive sound of a Mongoose leaving their base is that the flag carrier is being driven home on it. Second, it actually made some sense that such an escape Mongoose take the route towards the Spartan Laser structure, as it is by far the easiest terrain on the map for a vehicle to navigate. It provides just enough cover that a good Mongoose driver can hope to blast straight through any gunfire and make it home.
To our delight, the entire Red team gave chase to the Mongoose, never looking quite close enough to notice that there wasn’t anybody sitting in the back seat. My friend led them on a merry run through the rocks around the Spartan Laser structure, surviving almost 15 seconds longer than I had anticipated. And by this time, I was well past the caves and solidly within Blue territory.
By the time my friend and his valiant, stolen steed were blown to smithereens, I was in view of the Blue base and surrounded by Blue players. Fifteen seconds later, with nary a Red in sight, I scored the flag. Ten minutes after that, Blue team won the game 1-0.
BOOM SHAKALAKA.
