My first thought when I saw this thread:
“I’ve given up taking dope,” Tom said straightly.
“Show me Missouri,” Tom stated.
Tom elevated his voice, “You can’t get a rise out of him!”
The subject isn’t Tom, but:
“I bought something at the flea market today,” cheeped a robin (or a bird that would be appropriate).
“That is an ugly shirt!” Tom loudly said.
“The food needs seasoning,” Tom said blandly.
“My car battery blew up,” Tom said acidly.
“I like the feel of boobies,” Tom softly said.
Just one more:
“Who cut the cheese?” Tom said sharply.
“This tuna is excellent,” said Tom superficially.
“I’m going to end it all,” Sue sighed.
“That is remarkable,” remarked Tom.
“I haven’t had any tooth decay yet,” said Tom precariously.
“I’m going to catch that spaniel if it takes me all day,” Tom said doggedly.
“I’m really pretty indifferent about the albums they did after Some Girls,” Tom said stonily.
Actually, if you take “con-” to mean “against” or “counter to”, then “condescendingly” has to mean “moving up”, so “I’m going upstairs” is correct for that particular swiftie…
“I love Spy vs. Spy,” Tom said madly.
For those who are interested in the previous thread on this topic, here it is.
I was considering revisiting Tom Swifties at some stage because I thought the thread had died an early death. Glad that someone else brought it up.
Don’t forget about the Tripods TV series, either!
That were top that.
“I’m not sure about homosexuality,” said Tom, half in earnest.
A double swifty.
“Seattle Slew’s trainer is here with a frog.” Tom croaked hoarsely.
Of course we all know that the opposite of going down is going up-- but maybe I am a little obscure.
To wit:
“You’ve gained a lot of weight, Auntie.” Dorothy said emphatically.
or
“I farted.” Tom said astutely.
“Ow! Don’t ever kick me in the nuts again!” said Tom testily.
And not a Tom, but I just thought of it and had to use it:
“Yes, I’m the Lord of the Dance,” said Michael flatly.
“I’m no longer going out with that girl”, said Tom ruthlessly. “But I am interested in her sister”, he elucidated.
“I’m… just posting… on The Straight Dope Message Board” said Tom, slowly.
“Bob said he’d marry me!” Tom said gayly.
“I’m a fan of Luther” Martin said freely.
“Well, I prefer Calvin,” John said determinedly.
“I love flying over America,” Tom plainly stated.
“I belong to the San Francisco chapter of Mensa,” said Tom homogeneously.