desperately searches for the :troutsmack: smiley…
furt, I’m stealing these for my AP European History class. We’ll see how many of the students get them! 
My favourites from this site:
“Is your name Timothy or Russell?” Tom asked timorously
“I’d give that hornet a 10,” Tom said beratingly.
“I smacked right into the plate glass window.” Tom said clearly.
“I have erectile dysfunction.” Tom said lowly and softly.
“I could be a professional model”, proposed Tom.
“Looks like I’m going to get my feet wet”, Tom pondered.
Gracias. Just be sure and credit them to “some loser on the internet.”