“While receiving the citation for honorable bravery, the officer got a citation for illegal parking.”
“We cannot sanction the actions of the Evilonian government, so we impose sanctions on the country.”
Other pointless observations?
If you wear a hat for a while and then take it off, it feels like you’re still wearing it. It’s not the same with underwear.
You drive on a Parkway,
but park on a Driveway?
The East Indies are in the west,
but the West Indies are in the east?
An Albino will dissapear when he dies,
but only when you’re not looking?
I once got a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant that said:
No lie. And it wasn’t one of those joke cookies or anything, either, everyone else at the meal got regular fortunes.
One of my favorites:
Wherever you go, there you are.
Greenland, from what I understand, is far more cold and miserable than Iceland.
Now Greenland is a barren land,
A land that bears no green.
Where there’s ice and snow
And the whale-fishies blow,
And the daylight’s seldom seen, brave boys,
The daylight’s seldom seen.
-Greenland Whale Fisheries
“Fat chance” and “slim chance” basically mean the same thing…
A “smart ass” is usually no better off than a “dumb ass”…
“Every time he would cleave the meat, little sticky bits of fat would cleave to his fingers.”
The person going nowhere, usually gets there!
Okay, I didn’t really expect this to become strictly a language oddity thread, but as long as we’re on the subject…
Consider the following sentence. It has at least six meanings, depending on which word is stressed:
I never said he stole money.
I never said he stole money.
I never said he stole money.
I never said he stole money.
I never said he stole money.
I never said he stole money.
Fall not in love. It will stick to your face.
When you remove dust from an object, you dust that object.
When you add dust to an object, you dust that object.
To affect the effect, effect an affect.