Ever run across lost sex toys randomly? (TMI, as you may have guessed)

I did. Today, in fact.

My friend and I were walking at the lake today under the pretext of fishing, and we decided to walk on the lakebed, as it was dry due to the recent drought. It was fun in general as we observed the interesting litter such as traffic cones, a chair, two tires of different sizes, a few range balls (golf course nearby), a fair-sized white bass that has since gave up the ghost, and like that that was strewn about upon land which is normally covered with a few feet of water.

We also found something else. Upon closer examination, it turned out to be a large black rubber wang (a dildo, to be proper), balls and all, designed to be used in conjunction with a harness. Quite distasteful, to say the least. It was there for a while, as it had an aged patina of moss and mud.

Also, I was walking along the side of the street once in the vicinity of a fine neighborhood, thinking idly, when all of a sudden I found myself about to step upon more of the same, only a black leather harness and buttplug were along as well. I gasped in horror and took a detour consisting of a path along a 20-foot radius from the offending object.

I hope I’m not alone. I hate running into this crap, despite the initial amusement at such randomness.

I once saw one laying in the middle of the freeway. Right there on the dotted line.