Ever wake up raeely pissed off at something you have to Pit immediately..

In My Humble Opinion
1

And then you realize you are mad at something from a dream? And you can’t actually pit it without looking like a jackass. So now you are pissed off and frustrated?

I had a dream that apparently overnight overparenting had gone super critical, and some Jenny McCarthyesqe celebrity had convinced all the parents that the air in America was unfit to breath. So everybody was now keeping their kids in these clear acrylic boxes with active filter units that detected CO2/O2 balance and tried to keep it optimal by filtering and inserting new air, and a constant supply of medications.

And they were doing it to kid up to age 6! :mad:

I was eating in a restaurant with my friends and these people kept coming in with babies in these hexagonal aquarium like boxes. And the older children were wheeled in like Lenin’s glass coffin thrown on office supply carts. All oblivious and Stepford like, because even though the kids were all crying because they were locked in a box, the boxes were soundproofed so no one could hear them. When I asked what they hell they were thinking, the oblivious parents kept saying “It’s for their own good” And the kids weren’t even allowed to eat! They had some bizarre sterilizer-nebulizer on the filter unit that converted the food to breathable nutrition.:confused:

I got crazy pissed off, and was screaming at them all like a madman “You can’t keep your kid in a coffin until they are 7, they’re not goddamn veal, shit, even veal isn’t veal anymore!” Then some ass snottily said “It’s my right as a parent” So I beat the shit out of him, and basically started a one man riot breaking open the boxes and fighting off crazy parents. One man because none of my normally sensible friends saw anything wrong with it, and were taking about doing it if they had any more kids.

And when I woke up I was still absolutely livid and ready to fight, then realized I can’t do anything about being mad. :mad:

2

You’re not just a dreamer, you’re a Prophet! Write down and publish this revelation (and not just here on the SDMB like you just did). Spread the warning far and wide!

You’ll be treated as a troublesome crank during your own time, of course. But in the fullness of time, when your prophecy has come to pass (as it surely must!) you will be remembered as the visionary seer that you are! And the people will wail and lament, and rend their garments, that they did not heed your warnings while there was still time, when all the terrible things you prophesied have come to pass.

3

Are you sure it was a dream? Because I was just about to pit the asshole I saw at a restaurant yesterday, who was trashing people’s ChildBoxes.

Nah, I’m just messing with you. No one was trashing the ChildBoxes, it’s all fine. Brilliant invention, by the way. And boy, is it catching on. The guys who are making those must be millionaires by now.

4

I’ve often considered that all children should be encased in clear Lucite blocks (like those paperweights you see with the butterfly or dandelion puff embedded in them), until they are 18.

5

How about those hamster ball things instead. I mean, you know, child-sized.

6

Mad Magazine in a late '50s or early '60s edition had an “ad,” I think it was, selling a huge plastic bag to put your baby in, with the bag tied around the kid’s neck so you’d never have to change diapers. You’d remove the bag at age four or five.

The bag was all lumpy.

7

What kids really need is more fresh air.

And the solution to that is the baby cage.

8

Back when men were men. And babies were men.