I’m a male in my early 40s, doing well in my career, but sometimes wish I had an elder person as a mentor. This admission would greatly surprise friends and colleagues, but since my father’s death, I’ve sometimes felt the need of good counsel, support and fellowship. I’m going through a tough period in life, knowing I won’t have children, yet deeply wishing I could. While I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, I could use the wisdom of someone older. Maybe I’m looking for a surrogate father. Whatever. I’m reasonably sure I don’t need a therapist. I just want an older, more experienced elder to talk/consult with.
Ever find yourself in the same boat–wishing you had a mentor, a mentor outside of work?
Excuse me. I have difficulty imagining anyone would NOT want to have a wiser person around to offer advice whenever asked, so long as they wouldn’t give too much grief for not taking the advice.
And a “non-business related” mentor? Isn’t that what a parent is supposed to be?
My brother-in-law is about 15 years older than me, and I have always thought of him as a mentor. If he weren’t around, I would probably rely on a few of my older, mature friends.
I would offer, but at 29, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.
Gee, we’re in pretty similar situations. I’m in my late 40s and spent mid 2003 to mid 2004 going through the worst midlife crisis, especially regarding not having my own kids. I changed from someone who wan’t going to have kids, into someone who didn’t have kids. Wow, that hurt. Fortunately I have a stepdaughter with whom I had a wonderful time - so I did a kid, except for the pre-ten year old part. I spend part of this crisis trying to decide if I’d had one or not. Her changing toward more independance seemed to be the precipitating factor in this crisis of mine.
Yes, I want a mentor. Though I feel silly about it, being as old as I am. I think everybody can be a mentor, and everybody needs a mentor if they don’t have one. Though of course it’s difficult or imposible to mentor yourself. My father died 35 years ago.
So, yes, I understand and agree completely with what you want.
Yep. I thought I had one as I was going through my “tumultous teenage years”, and then realized/found out that he was, in fact, someone I very much did not want to even be around, to say nothing of be guided by/admire. No, I’m not bitter or anything… :mad:
My entire life I have made friends with older, wiser women (I’m female). Somehow, wherever I go, I seem to gravitate toward women with a lot of life experience to whom I can turn for advice. Half an hour ago, I was on the phone with one of my “little old ladies,” as I affectionately call them, when my other line rang, and it was a second “little old lady” calling. My grandparents are no longer alive, but I feel like I have at least two foster grandmothers, and just this week a third one made me dinner in exchange for some advice about using the internet (it’s been a while since someone has asked me, “What’s a smilie?”)
If you’re looking for the wisdom of experience, you can always try doing some volunteer work with seniors. I met one of my wise women that way, and there are always older people eager to share some advice in exchange for a little companionship.
Although parents can be mentors, and I do turn to mine for advice, they also have a vested interest (particularly when it comes to issues of family and children). Sometimes you just need an objective person to listen and not judge.
I’ve wanted one for the last 22 years, ever since my dad died when I was 14. When I look back on my life after that happened, I realize I had no clue about most everything that I was doing. Socially, academically, sartorially . . . I had to find a library book to teach me how to tie a tie.
I’ve basically kind of felt my way through life, like a blind man in a stranger’s house.