I know this guy Jason, he’s a 30 year old and I’ve known him off and on for ten years. He moves in and out of Chicago.
He, like me is gay and complains he has trouble getting dates, etc.
Long story short, he he put some pics of himself on a dating website. They are current, I know that. And he is really sharp looking in those photos.
But he doesn’t look like that in real life. In these photos he’s darn handsome, but in real life he’s average looking.
In my life I’ve run across good looking people who take lousy photos but he seems to be the first lousy looking person who takes great pictures.
I know darn well he’s not photoshopping them or anything, it just seems the camera likes his face. Maybe it’s the angle he shoots a picture of himself, the pictures are taken on a digital camera on a timer for this site.
But even in other pictures I’ve seen of him, he looks so much better in the photo, he almost doesn’t look like that in real life.
My question is have you ever known anyone who looks much better in a photo (untouched) than in person?
If so, why? Is it just angles and lighting or something?
As I said, it’s not just a matter of him using nice photos for a dating website, in any photo I’ve seen of him, he looks 10 times better than real life.
I’m thinking he’s your friend, but you feel subconsciously competitive with him. When you look at him in person, you can’t bare to think of him as more than average. However, when you see a picture you look at it more objectively and recognize that he is more than average.
I’ve learned that pictures on dating sites are about as useful as a bicycle to a fish. I’ve met numerous women who look exquisite in their photos, but quite different in real life. And once in a while, the opposite is also true.
Plus, there are so many facets of physical attractiveness that you miss that are far more important than a still photo (even if it’s accurate):
Body movements / how someone walks
How the face changes when someone speaks
How the eyes move
Shape of the smile when hearing something funny
It’s really the combination of all of these things that make someone attractive.
If that was true, his buddy wouldn’t keep getting disappointed by his internet dates. Other people are liking the photos on the dating website, but then meet Mr. Plain when it’s in person.
ETA: Also, I’ve heard that a lot of professional models have “unusual features” and that this makes them photogrpah well but they can be odd looking in person. I don’t know any models so I can’t corroborate.
Yes. I’ve known at least one girl like that. I was her teacher, so not in competition with her in any way.
Groups of students had to make a video for a project, and when the class saw her group’s work, there was a gasp in the room and comments on how beautiful she looked. Her class picture in the yearbook was taken by the same crummy photographer who took everyone else’s pictures, but she was stunning. BTW, these were the days before Photoshop and digital cameras.
This is true. I’ve worked with many models who look average or odd in real life but look fantastic in pictures. I don’t know what their secret is (apart from feeling very natural in front of the camera) I just know I don’t have it myself. Even my mother tells me I’m not photogenic.
Yeah, I’ve known some people. It’s not that they didn’t look fine in real life, but in pictures they were extraordinarily good-looking. It’s mostly how their face is (every angle translates well to 2D), but sometimes partly their knowledge (intuitive or learned) of how to take a great picture. You have to know what to do with your face if you want to look your best in a picture, and the ability to not be self-conscious and to move naturally goes a long way. I used to be very self-conscious and stiff in front of the camera, had no idea how to flatter myself, and took truly awful pictures. Now that I have got over my complex and know what to do with my face, most pictures of me are okay. At least I look like myself!
Lighting is of utmost importance for me and that’s part of why I’m not the most photogenic person. All of the best pictures ever taken of me were outdoors in direct bright daylight.
A lot of models are in fact odd-looking, and for many of them that clearly shows in candids or when they are photographed from a less flattering angle. There are also many models who have such perfectly formed faces that it’s impossible for them to ever take a bad picture.
I know a woman who’s probably a 7 in person, but in photos she – well, she doesn’t look prettier necessarily, but she does unfailingly look more attractive. She is completely unselfconscious about how she’ll look so she always looks relaxed and pretty in photos.
That’s how I discovered that my second friend was a model. She was recommended as someone I may know on MySpace, and I couldn’t place her. But I found a couple candid photos and I instantly recognized her. Turns out it was her modeling profile, as she has one on every social networking service. She offered to add me on her real profile, but we’d fallen so much out of touch that I declined.
My mom is not a superb-looking woman. She’s average. A solid 5. But there is something about her face that translates into a 9 or 10 on camera. She’s stereotypically photogenic. I, on the other hand, am a 3 in real life and a 1 on camera. Wish I’d inherited her photogenesis!
I have a friend who told me her 10 yr old son was a professional model. I almost snorted because, well, in all love and kindness, the kid was ugly. But then she showed me his portfolio. OMG! He was amazing in photographs! What was ugly in real life came out as unique, stunning, and beautiful in still shots. She herself was surprised when she realized how photogenic he was. Of course on film, he is still, umm, ‘less than pretty’, but his agent says that after puberty, that is likely to change.