I was bored earlier today, so I decided to take a quick peek at my eldest brothers website. He had made a few updates, so I continued to peruse.
So, he last visited me about two months ago, and he took a few pictures of me… and he has (typically) put them up on his website.
I hate seeing photos of myself, because it just doesn’t seem to be the same person that stares at me blankly in the mirror every morning.
He must have caught me on the hop (or drunken hop, as it were), as in the majority of pictures, I appear to have my teeth bared, my hair straggly, and in various comedic poses.
So, I have learnt my lesson. All future visits from family members shall be executed with me wearing a paper bag over my head. Just in case.
That made me chuckle. The only picture of me (that I’m aware of) on-line, is one on my brother’s site. I think overall, I’m a goofball, but even when I try to have a nice picture taken, I still look goofy.
I watched some show about why some people take bad pictures. I found I was tensing up when aware of the camera, etc. So… I actually went into the bathroom and practiced my smile in the mirror. Though drivers’ licenses are notoriously horrible, I wanted to have one that was at least not a thing of shame to look at. Anyhow, after practicing my smile, I went for the license renewal. It’s AWFUL, worse than all previous ones, I look like I’m in horrific pain. heh I gave up after that.
I’m not a bad-looking guy. Some would even go so far as to call me “cute”, though I don’t think I could pull off “handsome”.
But the second a camera clicks, my head inflates in a manner not unlike hot-air balloons, to three, maybe four times its usual size. It happens very quickly, as nobody has ever been able to actually see it happen. However, when you check the photograph, indeed my melon is the size of an exercise ball!
Another thing about this gigantamelonification is that it will occur at any angle at which you shoot me, but only if the head is in the frame to begin with. For example, if the top of the frame is right at my neck, my cranium will not pull its spectacular trick. However, if you so much as catch the lower portion of my chin in the shot, my noggin will, in fact, take up half (sometimes even 3/4) of the frame. Indeed, it makes others heads look like a small collection of marbles in a young boy’s hand. Make no mistake, my coconut is the mother of all glassies.
Unfortunately, this massive melon might go reasonably unnoticed (oh, who am I kidding…), except that my facial features do not grow to match the new head size. Though my new photographic hat-size would now be in the order of 16 7/8, there is no mistaking the fact that I have a miniature face in comparison (the fact that my ears are the size of a six-year-old’s even under normal circumstances notwithstanding).
Has anyone ever tried having there picture taken while looking in a mirror behind the photographer? Surely one could ease out the tension under those circumstances.
I have been told that I am not a bad-looking person (for a pirate), however, cameras will make me look like an extra from Night of the Living Dead with who got stuck with the bad makeup artist after a night of binge drinking.
What makes it even worse is that I am married to someone who is astoundingly photogenic. Her PASSPORT PHOTO looks like a glamor shot. Her driver’s license picture could be on the cover of Vogue. Mine looks like it is a photo from a morgue to identify an accident victim. It’s just not fair.
When we were traveling out of the country recently, the customs agent did a double take when he saw my passport photo. These are people who see a LOT of bad photos, and MINE startled him. :eek:
Our wedding photos are a joke. Kinda like Roger and Jessica Rabbit.
Hmmmm… maybe we are all having some kind of a Dorian Grey action going on here. We all continue to look great while our pictures look like hell. Yeah, thats gotta be it…
I think I photograph now better than I used to because I’m much less inhibited. Still not great, though. Does anybody notice a difference between pics taken digitally of them vs. film? I always thought pics of me come out better with digital…hmmm, I’ve thought entirely too much about this.
It’s all in knowing how, after talking witha professional photographer, my photos don’t come out as bad. For example, if you have multiple chin syndrome, always take you photos while holding your head up.
SJSB, you simply must show us the photos so we can judge for ourselves! Come on, honey, let us see your face. I bet your pictures are a lot better than you think
I’m a fairly decent looking person, honestly. And no matter when the photograph is taken - posed, candid, drunk, whatever - it’s absolutely terrifying. If I really looked like that I wouldn’t have any friends and would have to wear a paper bag over my head by law or something. I’ve read all the “tricks” for making yourself look better in pictures - nope. The camera just does not love me. The one trick that IS worthwhile is: if you really don’t want people to keep the picture, close your eyes. It won’t make it to the album.
And my current guy is all “let’s take dirty pictures!” Man, oh man, is there some uuuugly porn on my computer these days.
I was hoping, nyctea, that you would not be popping in here to say you weren’t photogenic. But then even if you were, you would have nothing to worry about.
[sub]No, no, it’s okay, I can flirt right now, B’s asleep.[/sub]
