Dear Husband: stop calling those awful pictures you made of me "cute" and "typically you".

Yes, I am vain. And yes, my self image is apparently fragile. And it is sweet that you took this awful picture of me with our new camera, and then tell me it is a cute picture of me. Even though my nose and chin are fish-eyed into greatness.

Sweet, yes. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Or like that you made that picture into your cellphone picture of me.

You’re super cute!

In those other pics anyway. That one is not a good likeness.

I thought you said you’re fat?

I see what you are talking about, but I actually think it makes you look cuter. It’s kinda a MySpace angle, and I guess my mind automatically corrects for that now!

I’m glad that you mentioned this as I was hesitant. I got the impression that the OP was oversize and she seems nothing of the sort.

The real trouble is that you’re leading with your chin. If you’d kept your head down, slightly tucking in your chin (it’s hard to describe what I mean), you’d like it better.

You are much prettier than that photo shows.
Have you asked him to use a different picture of you on his phone? IMO it would be disrespectful of him to refuse.

An awful picture of a cute girl only makes her seem cuter.

And such is the case here.

Oh, it’s a cute enough picture. Sure, it’s not a professional portrait or anything, but it’s got some personality to it, so I could see why your husband would enjoy that picture, because it really reminds him of you, not just your physical appearance. People are very idiosyncratic when it comes to what photos they like of themselves and of other people. I bet if you got me and my SO together, and laid out ten pictures of each of us and had us choose what we think the best picture of ourselves is and the best picture of the other is, there’d be little or no overlap.

That’s my favorite picture in the bunch. You look about 17 y.o., which (for better or worse) is usually regarded as a good thing. The expression looks spontaneous and buoyant. The light is soft and flattering (like a north window.)

Yeah, the nose and chin are exaggerated. No big deal. The nose is clearly a close-up distortion, and the chin no uglier than Reese Witherspoon’s.

The picture of your family is also nice (and maybe a better example of your “actual” appearance), but the cell phone shot is good enough that I’m tempted to call this thread, “stealth bragging.”

IIRC she had gastric bypass surgery last year.

Oh, and I prefer the white doors with the floral motif glass. They might need backlighting or some translucent curtains to make the design visible from the street.

I laughed when I read that most assumed that I would hate a picture in which I was fat. Indeed, I had a gastric bypass last year and lost 80 pounds. But even though I am no longer fat, nothing has really changed: my husband still takes bad (or, if you prefer) “idiosyncratic” pictures and I still feel self-conscious when he does.

I’m sorry (Oh, who am I kidding? I like compliments. Love them, in fact.) that this thread turned to reassuring me. I thought the thread topic would be very relatable to most people. Like pulykamell said, most couples will have had this discussion at some point.

“Why did you choose that picture of me? I look awful in that one!”
“No, I like that one. It is really you”
“Hey! Are you saying the real me is <insert physical imperfection of choice>”

Some will have this argument in a low key, good natured way. Others will decide to duck whenever their loved one (or anyone, really) points a camera at them in the future. Others will invest in glamour studio photos and force all of their loved ones to use that plastic image.

I just wondered how other people dealt with this.

Oh no, the red doors are much better! So very Dutch. Then again, given as how Masstricht lives there, she might be kind of sick of the look. In that case, I agree with you! :wink:

Are you willing to compromise on purple?

It’s not the best angle, or lighting conditions, for showing off a person as attractive. But then again, most of the time when your husband sees you by eye, it’s not under optimum conditions, either. If he were only attracted to your looks, it would make sense for him to favor pictures designed to highlight your looks. But if he’s attracted to you as a person, then it makes sense for him to favor pictures that show you under the same conditions that he sees you.

Best picture of you on that site, actually.

I think he likes the expression on your face in that one. It’s almost like he caught you off-guard with the pic and ended up with something that looks almost candid. Those are always my favorite photos.

Also, I disagree with lots of people here. You don’t get to choose which pic of you your husband puts on his phone. Just get him back by putting a more ridiculous pic of him on your phone. Hit him in the face with a cream pie, and then snap the pic while he’s wiping it out of his eyes.

I hate when perfectly cute girls show off pictures in an attempt to pretend they are not. :mad:


This has not been my experience. I have certainly noticed that the pictures I like the best of myself are usually not the ones my husband likes best, and vice versa, but I think that’s kind of cool, that in a picture where I am seeing my flaws, he is seeing “my cute wife.” It’s a confidence booster. I can’t really see getting pissed off at him about it and taking it as a personal slight. He likes the way you look! Accept it!

Deal. Purple it is. Hope you like your new doors, Maastricht!