(Enter DRY, doing a fairly mediocre Knute Rockne impression)
"Everyone gather round please. Mods, Administrators, Teeming Millions, Cecil. Thank you.
You’ve all heard of the legendary member of the Straight Dope Message Board, Shayna. A prolific poster here, a lady who gave of herself in the “Psychic Orgasms” thread (hint–you OWE her, Cecil!) an inspiration to all of us with her Smokeout Thread, a friend to so everyone, and a hottie to boot (whispered aside-‘even though she was so damned stubborn about that Jewish boyfriend thing, grumble grumble’).
Before she left the board tonight, Shayna e-mailed me privately.
(begins to whisper, barely audible)
‘DRY, she said, I’ve got to go. It’s all right. I’m not afraid. Some time, DRY, when the teeming millions are in a uproar, when admins and mods are dealing with unruly sockpuppets and trolls, when banned posters are sneaking back onto the boards, when the BBQ pit is broiling with discontent, tell them to stop, take a deep breath for a moment, and wish Shayna a happy birthday. I don’t know when I’ll log in again, DRY, but I’ll see the posts, and I’ll be happy.’
(DRY quietly begins to cry)
'Right before she left, Shayna asked me to wait until the moment was right(sob) , and wish her a happy birthday. (breaks into louder sobs)
This is the day, and you are the teeming millions’
OK. So that blatant rip off of “Win one for the Gipper” sucked pretty bad. Hey, it’s 12:45 in the morning, so gimme a break, and please, please, join me in wishing Shayna a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
(I am not Shayna’s sockpuppet–just an suck up. There’s a difference)
Dan (aka “DRY”)