Honestly, I’m surprised. I mean, I did send a force up there, to kill God, but I didn’t think they would succeed. The whole thing was kind of rush job, really. I thought I had until 2012, but all the sudden, I hear the end is coming 2011! I only just finished the God killing weapon (forged in black hellfire, tempered by the blood of a corrupted pope, powered by black metal and red thunder) but I didn’t have enough soldiers and siege engines to make it past the gates of Heaven. Maybe they just tied Him up for a while. Hopefully I bought enough time time to build another God Slayer and rally a decent sized army… anyone know where I get some more orphan hearts?
:smack:
… in the skin of course.
The influx of 200 million new users has brought the celestial wireless LAN to a virtual standstill, though. Archangel Dave, responsible for tech support, is looking into it.
Still here, but what did you expect from the board’s resident Satanist? If I got raptured there’s something seriously wrong with the promotion material that God has been disseminating.
Me too…and yet, I’m still connected to the same wifi network…puzzling.
I have not been raptured, but I can tell you who has been, and a few hours early by the look of it…
The Parcelforce guy who was supposed to deliver a case of wines this morning. 
Me! It’s not quite 9am yet here, but I got in early to avoid the rush. It’s a lovely day here in beautiful downtown Heaven.
The Family Circus has the latest on this
The bible actually says something to the effect that man will not know God’s plan so everytime someone sets a date for the end of the world God won’t start the apocalypse just to prove them wrong. So all we need to do is predict the Apocalypse for every day from now on.
Frankly, I don’t think God’s paying that much attention to us anymore. I think He got tired of playing Sims and moved on to World of Warcraft or something.
… and now I’m back online. Yes, I got raptured- pretty annoying, actually, since I was sitting at my computer in just my boxers. After the initial embarrassment, though, it’s all worked out well.
It turns out Heaven has a really kick-ass internet connection. St. Peter says most of the angels play Rift, but that some of the newly ascended souls play Left 4 Dead 2 in the afternoon.
It’s just me, but I personally won’t feel comfortable until I actually watch the minute hand sweep past 12 on the clock, at 6 p.m. tonight.
Well this explains why me and my computer desk are both ascending on this pretty white fluffy cloud. . .
Odd too, considering I’m atheist.
Wow, that’s going to make dinner tonight interesting. How am I supposed to explain to my grandparents why my parents suddenly disappeared? Especially considering Grandma is deaf…
I thought I’d been Raptured, but it turned out it was just gas.
I got raptured!
(I got better, though)
So…what are we saying here? If a bunch of people suddenly disappear today, we’re not even going to consider the possibility of alien abduction? I mean - what better time to get your quota of potential anal probees so to speak - in one fell swoop!!! :eek: Is this the end of conspiracy theories as we know them???
I’m troubled…
Hopefully this isn’t region-locked, but here is how the highly regarded UK Channel 4 news ended tonight:
I can get it from here (here being Alberta, not Heaven), and that’s hilarious!
Are you sure a gas main didn’t just explode?