Heathens ye were warned. (half way down)
Now, on to more serious matters, whose bringing what for the gala festival?
[emphasis added]
It’s the end of everything in the world! Maybe even sports!
Yay, no election and no sports and no bills…
Can I say this sounds great 
I’ll bring some appetizers and a nice big cake.
Unless he is still being presumptuous…
Well huh, my paramour’s birthday.
I’m thinking April 6th will be a good day to find a used car at a really good price.
I’ll bring the virgins to deflower, and lotsa booze.
And chips.
Marshmallows
I thought this year’s rapture was scheduled for April 7th. Musta got my calculations mixed up somehow.
A Monday?!
Since its right before Easter, I will bring hollow chocolate bunnies.
When Jesus come back, bring pie.
Zephaniah 1:7:
This Bible passage fucking SCREAMS April 5, 2004.
This guy is good.
Just in case, I´ll wear clean underwear that day. 
I get the feeling that two groups we don’t have to worry about losing to the rapture will be athletes and politicians.
I just knew Bush was going to cancel the election somehow… looks like he called in a favor from his pal upstairs.
Well, Bush has been saying that he wants to make those tax cuts permanent.
Oh, don’t you know, He’s already here?
I’ll bring the barbie and an esky full of decent Aussie beer.
But, but I don’t wanta die underage!!!
Can’t we move this rapture to April 19, say around 2 AM EST when I’m too drunk to even care?
Am I the only one who actually read the article?
Last year’s Rapture didn’t pan out, so it’s been rescheduled. Sorry for the delay, folks…
You gotta love people whose website begins with a left-hand sidebar headed with, “Currently In Jail”.
http://www.embassyofheaven.com/
Oh, and BTW, Frank J. Potter sez that not only is he Jesus, but he’s also the Prophet, predicted to come to Earth just before the Second Coming. However, he would like to make it clear that he is not ALSO the Prophet Elijah, who is also supposed to be coming–Arnold Murray, Pastor of Shepherd’s Chapel, Gravette, is Elijah.
http://www.2ndcomingofchrist.com/whoisj.htm
I love the Internet.
From the website
Can anyone loan me enough money to get out of debt?
On that blessed day, let us all go commando! Can I hear an AMEN?