So here I am, at work, sifting thru the mail and throwing out the junk from the checks (kinda like chaff from wheat maybe) and I come across an envelope an envelope with two or three other envelopes inside. Humm, lets see what this is…
Inside are some corporate documents and a letter from our former coprorate attorney. In his letter he explained he has resigned from the law practice to “serve the Lord full-time” and forwarded us some stuff we need to attend to soon. Then he goes on…
…“Lord has told the prophet Elijah that the first resurrection will be on August 27, 2003 with the passing of Planet X.” I’m not making this up, really! He says it is his hope to be “taken up to meet the Lord Jesus in the clouds.”! :eek:
Dammit! I had plans for this weekend!
Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?
Maybe it’s just lawyers who are going to be consumed. Oh well, I’ll get a hair cut tomorrow just to look my best.
Well, at least the boards should be running nice and quick for those of us left behind.
“Passing of Planet X”? Haven’t we heard of something like this before? I wonder if this dude has a nice new pair of Nikes and a fresh bandage?
How is Rap like Porn? Both are better with the sound turned off.
If he’s a corporate attorneys that actually is elegible for being taken in the rapture, he must have been a crappy attorney anyway.
Should I shave my pits for this?
Hey, it’s the Rapture!
It’s a special occasion!
Shave it all!
Pits, legs, and…anything else that’s “special”.
I wonder if my professors will take “Raptured” as an excused abscence?
[Marvin the Martian] There was supposed to be an earth-shattering ka-Boom! [/Marvin the Martian]
Heck, GMRyujin, I’m wondering if my boss will take “Preparing for Rapture” as an excused absence from work!
Just think of all those abandoned automobiles, free for the taking!
Purple robes! Purple robes! Get yer purple robes here!
You, sir! Can’t face your Maker in a gaberdine suit, sir! You look like a 42 Long … yes, we do accept Diner’s Club.
Wait. I thought the first resurrection occured some 2000 years ago.
So does that means there will be more than one resurrection to come? Can I participate in a later one? My schedule is not good for Wednesday.
Does that mean that starting Thursday morning we can point and laugh at all the Fundies left around ?
Yeah, this is probably the 5,937th prediction of the Rapture, the End-of-the-World, etc, so I think I’ll be waiting this one out too.
But can we be sure that prediction 5,938 will not be the real thing? BWA-HA-HA !!!
Probably not. That will come and go too. Gee, the End of the World sure isn’t what is used to be.
Cool. I don’t have to turn 28.
Is that UTC/GMT?
Guess I will watch the Two Towers DVD tuesday night…
Brilliant… just brilliant. What an image! Thanks for that one
Maybe we can form gangs, Mad Max style! I get to be Lord Humongous.
“Greetings from The Humongous! The Lord Humongous! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!”
Sweet love of man.
My 29th birthday party was on Saturday.
Oh, wait, I’m an atheist. I’ll still be around. Hopefully it’ll take a couple of days for the plagues and whatnot to hit, so we can rage as planned.
Wednesday is no good for me. My kids are not behaving themselves and it will take longer then Wed. to wrangle them up.
Plus I have a ton of housework and I need to dye my roots!
If for some reason I do go on Wednesday unprepared will someone please pay my blockbuster late fees and take care of my new car?