The speed limit is 55, the road has moderate curves.
You desire to travel at 35 miles per hour.
No passing lane in sight and it is all double yellow lines.
You are an agent of Satan.
Because of you,
Evil is not growing in the hearts of all those stuck behind you Delta 88.
We the helpless, gaze upon your blue hair peeking over the drivers seat and become enraged.
Because of you we shall finish our journeys and spread the evil.
We shall kick puppies
We shall steal candy from babies
We shall be snarky and rude to all those around us.
When you drop your speed to 25 mph at the sight of on coming traffic you add fuel to the fire in our black hearts.
22 miles now and your mission is complete we are mad, cussing, and have resorted to our most primal and base natures.
A passing lane in the distance,
We chop at the bit, counting the seconds we can slam the gas pedal and finally be along our way.
We who are Legion pass you.
We Howl in rage and offer gestures not normally for those of your advanced age.
With one last twist to fan the flames higher…
Your talking on a fucking cellphone.