Last night we were having a lively discussion as we cleaned the restaurant. We had started talking about similarities between humans and animals. I mentioned that old chestnut about how similar we are genetically to chimps.
He opened his mouth, and I couldn’t believe what came out of it.
He said that “The Jews” (Just like that, with caps and everything) made that “discovery” to “prove that they are the only real humans”. He said that “The Jews” believe that everyone else is untermenschen (oh, delicious irony, how sweet thou art!), descended from apes, while “The Jews” themselves were created from the soil of the earth by G-d.
He said that scientists mixed human DNA with dirt and saw that it “reacted”, whatever the dastardly ignorant fuck that means, which supposedly proves that The Creator picked up up mud and molded us from it.
Yeah, the human race began as a bunch of golems.
Dude, I must have missed that chapter of my biology textbook. Maybe I was at home sick the day “The Jews” comandeered the third-floor biology lab at Peterborough Collegiate Vocational School that spring day in 1998.
I felt a tide of arm-waving, eye-popping, monkey-dancing rage rise inside me and I had to quell the desire to scream; “We are animals, just like everything else! We’re no different than apes and blowfish and narwhals! We are just as subject to the Laws of Nature as any other life form!”
And then he explained to me that I could stop being gay and enjoy fucking menif I really wanted to.
:smack:
This fighting ignorance thing is for suckas. The smart money is on a new Dark Age, where the Earth is flat, stationary, and located squarely in the centre of the Universe. Heaven knows we’re ready and willing for it, nay, we’re fucking asking for it.
I was going to add some :rolleyes: , but there aren’t enough in the world.
According to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, the theory of Evolution is one of the many evil Jewish ploys to corrupt and control the societies of the world.
Formulated by a British Atheist (with no discernible Jewish ancestry), with evidence provided by an Austrian Catholic priest (with no discernible Jewish ancestry), and synsthesized by a Russian Orthodox scientist (with no discernible Jewish ancestry), suddenly “the Jews” are behind the whole thing?
It is going to take longer than we had hoped.
(Of course, the Algerian and youth connections might provide some insight into the origins of such utter nonsense. Where is this kid going to school amd do they teach actual Biology, there?)
I don’t remember reading that in my copy of the Koran. Of course, I’ve never quite spotted the bit in the bible that says man didn’t evolve either. Just goes to show that religious fundamentalists are straightjacket cases no matter which faith they embrace.
And of course, it might make one wonder why their all knowing god didn’t spot this issue coming ahead of time and lay the facts down while someone had a pen handy. But if you go around wondering those sorts of things, chances are you’ve already abandoned religion anyways.
At a guess, I would think that hearing an undereducated Muslim making anti-Jewish comments would be likely. Rather like hearing anti-Catholic or anti-Mormon rhetoric among certain groups within the Bible Belt of the U.S.
Thank you both. Please excuse me if I was unclear. I am still suffering from a hangover induced by certain exeriments preformed last night with various flavored tequilas.
The almond is my new favorite.
I was simply repeating the views held by the Saudis who work in my office.
Actually, there are some Orthodox Jews who believe this. Though rather than a bunch, they hold it was two at most (Adam and Lilith). The process for creating a golem is actually supposed to replicate the process G-d used to create Adam. However, since humans are imperfect any golems we make cannot speak, have no souls and are not truly alive. Sadly Judaism does have its share of creationists.
There are also many Jews who believe that while human beings did evolve, that evolution only appears random and was guided by a divine inteligence.
The idea of everybody else being the result of evolution, but the Jews being divinely created is one I’ve never heard before and is contrary to one of the morals of Genesis (IIRC it’s mentioned in Sanhedrin)- That G-d created only one man so that no one could say ‘I am better than you. For my father was a greater man than yours.’ If we can all trace our lineage to Adam, then we all have the same father.
It also contradicts that somebody who converts to Judaism is as much a Jew as anybody who is born Jewish. Sammy Davis Jr was every bit as Jewish as I am (and we were damn proud! The Candyman was one of us!).
Re Lesbianism
I say, tell him you agree with him. But, you need to ease into heterosexuality. Say that you’ll make out with him if he shaves his face and legs, wears a wig, puts on a bra and a dress, and gets the make up just right.
Naturally, when he emerges thus transformed you must have a camera rolling or a large crowd gathered.
Re The Jew Angle
This may shock some of you, but I’m Jewish. I assumed Paul simply meant ‘It is likely that the Saudis who I discussed evolution with also believe it to be a Jewish plot.’ I can see several other meanings he may have meant, but find it unlikely in the extreme he was expressing antisemitic sentiments of any kind.
The next time your co-worker does something like this, try this tactic…
Don’t say anything, just let him go on with his babbling. After a few moments, start tittering … then snickering… finally go into full blown belly laughs. If you’re a decent actor, clutch your stomach, bend over and act like you’re in hysterics. Fall onto the floor and roll around, laughing as hard as you can.
Then…“recover” catch your breath or whatever. But for the next hour or so, whenever he looks in your direction, go pop-eyed, point and giggle and occasionally burst out in full blown laughter again, like someone just said the most hysterically funny thing ever.
