Well, of sorts. I have to go to a wedding of my SO’s friends. He has driven today and I will fly down on Sunday. The wedding is at 3.30. The weather is predicted to be warm and mild. Therefore, being broke, I sidled up to an old friend and asked to borrow her frock and coat which I did 12 months ago, for a wedding. I am wedding’d out but need to look nice for this one, as am meeting many of SO’s friends for the first time. I should add here that SO is considerably younger than I (who has just celebrated birthday short 3 years of HUGE milestone). I have seen pictures of the other wedding guests - the invitation came by DVD and included photos of all the guests complete with a little screed saying nice things about us. Mind you, the photos sent by the other guests were obviously done in glamour, ours was a picture taken at a 40th last month, with us in Haiwaiian leis, and after 50 beers. We don’t look so lovely.
So, in an effort to look like I’m 27 again (a distant memory) and to make SO proud I borrowed the same outfit from a year ago, which made him drool at the time. Might I add, I MAY have put on about 3 kilos since then. So, putting on little black dress with a sweetheart neckline and flared above-knee skirt, I hold my breath whilst I am zipped up. SO is grinning. I like, he says. Your boobs look fantastic. I am too scared to breath out. I look in the mirror, and there’s an arse on my chest where my breasts used to be!
“But honey” … “I can’t … breathe” I whisper. He is still grinning. All I can think is that they are going to want extra cash throughout the night, and my cleavage (arse) is going to get swiped!
My dilemma - do I stop breathing to impress SO’s friends, or use my Christmas Club money to buy a new frock? Apparently I resemble a buxom bar wench - however I say that SO’s friends look like teenage gymnasts. Damn you boobs!
