Excuse me, but do I look like Darth Vader?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m not sure why, but evil people seem to identify with me, and feel that they can confide in me.

I mentioned last year about the jerk in the pool store who told me how much I was going to love my automatic pool cleaner because it was like having your own black man at the bottom of the pool, well something similar happened.

I met this new guy in town, who’s a pretty high-powered professional on the tennis courts, and it turns out we have a lot in common. He’s lived in New Orleans, so have I. We both grew up in the same town.

He’s a great tennis player, too. So, were talking about the old home town and from out of the blue he just launches into this string of stuff that was bigoted enough to make a KKK member socially embarassed.

I won’t even repeat it, that’s how bad it was. I got really, really quiet… so he repeated it again!

And I was liking this guy.

At first I was feeling pretty righteous about my feelings towards this guy, but then I started to feel pretty crappy about myself.

What did he see in me that made him feel safe making those comments? Why did he assume that it would be cool?

Then I realized this happens a lot to me.

People assume I’m evil. Yes I wear black suits and drive a black car with black sunglasses, and ok yes, I do sort of look evil in a cool way, and yes,

Maybe I am evil.

But, I’m not that evil.

Even Darth Vader has principles.

2

Scylla did I tell you about when I used to kick kittens?

Seriously, use your powers to their advantage, you now know that guy is a jerk, whilst it might take others a long time to find that out.

If you really are evil, allways carry a hidden mike and recorder, then you can blackmail the jerks after they confess their evilness to you, bwahahahaha.

3

Do you have a weezing problem, maybe?

4

Aren’t you married to the Angel Of Death?

5

Do you look like Darth Vader?

Well, I dunno. Take that helmet off and let us have a look at you.

6

Is it mainly rascist stuff or do they assume you like to pull the wings off flies, too? Every so I often I get people thinking I’m as rascist as they are because I’m white like them. Yeck, it makes me feel guilty too, as though I’d done something that indicated I felt the same way. Glad to know I’m not the only one this happens to, Scylla. Er, well, you know what I mean.

Now that I think of it, maybe the whole wearing black theory is the key. I too, drive a black car, wear a lot of black and am never without my very dark shades. I don’t look evil particularily, I don’t think. I mean I bear no resemblance to Snow White’s step mother. Once I take off the funky crown thing anyway. Maybe if you stopped with the long cape and plastic mask?

7

No, you’re not evil. After reading some of the stuff you’ve written here, I’m sure of that. Your thread about your grandfather in particular assured me of it.

My only guess is that since your friend (the one describe in the OP) and you have similar backgrounds and some activities in common you must have everything in common, which includes his… uh, politically incorrect viewpoints. Sounds like he’s the one painting with a broad brush.

As for the dark clothes, cars and sunglasses, just start wearing a button that says “MATRIX Extra” :smiley:

8

You’re not evil.

Whimsical… that’s it.

Oh, and a snappy dresser.

:smiley:

9

Yep, every time I close my eyes and think of you, I see Darth Vader.
Of course, I’ve never closed my eyes and thought of you, so it isn’t anything to worry about.

10

If you ever have a son, don’t name him Luke;)

11

And don’t let him kiss his sister, either. But if you do have a son, and he gets into a spot of trouble, be sure to give him a hand…

12

All this time you thought that you were neutral-good, but in reality you were just a chaotic-evil in denial. Maybe if you get a 5 in your Allignment Alteration roll…

13

Well, you do vote Republican… :wink:

14

The problem isn’t that you look evil, it’s that you look somewhat evil.

Evil has a hierarchy, and it’s a very strict one. Slightly evil people are as nervous around extremely evil people as non-evil people are. Once you reach a sufficient state (or appearance) of evil, they all back right off and don’t even speak to you, lest you loose your evil on them, or at least embarass them in front of their friends by pointing out how pathetic their evil is in comparison with your own.

An analogous effect can be seen by introducing the guy at the end of the bar who can’t shut up about the time his high school football team made it all the way to State where his career ending shoulder dislocation crushed his dreams of stardom to Joe Theisman.

Achieving a sufficient look (or, to use the technical term, “aura”) of evil will definitely reduce the number of evil people who come up and start conversations based on your presumed evilness.

The downside, of course, is that while the numbers are fewer the quality of evil in the ones who do start such conversations is greatly increased.

As a first step, I would suggest the cultivation of a long waxed mustache with which to fiddle while sneering, and carrying a sheet of paper with the word “DEED” written prominently on top at all times. You should also try to stick near railway tracks or buzz saws if at all possible.

15

My boss is just like this. Whenever its just me and him in the shop he decides to go off on one. He is racist and he is unkind.
He dislikes anyone who isn’t white, he hates Jews and he hates Christians. He knows full well that I am a Christian yet he takes the time to tell me that Christianity is ‘primitive nonsense’, and al Christians are ‘obviously gulliable and pathetic’. The worst thing he ever said to me was when I mentioned a friend of mine who is American who had done something very minor to annoy me he said “Well it’s a shame she wasn’t in the World Trade Centre on September 11th”. I just stood there with my mouth open, I coudn’t believe he’d said that.

He never talks like this infront of the customers, or any of the other people who work there. And it’s not like I encourage his horrible ideas, I just ignore him so I don’t see why he feels the need to share them with me.

Sorry if I’ve hi-jacked this a bit

16

I feel the need to post here…

What?

Damn you, Scylla, and your “Jedi” tricks!

17

This theory gets my vote. I was once at a party and got talking to some bloke I met. After a while, he just launched into some really racist slurs - especially about how Jews were taking over the country, etc. etc.

Problem is, my ancestry is decidedly Jewish - I certainly have some of the characteristics - but that didn’t phase him in the slightest!

18

I had this happen once with some Nazis in a Frankfurt bar. They assumed that because my head was clean shaven (fashion choice shaped by genetics), that I was in their club. Fortunately my German is not expert and their thick, gravelly Bavarian accents kept me from fully understanding what they were saying. But there were plenty of racial slurs and conspiratorial winks to let me know where they were coming from. What was odd was that the bar was run by a Vietnamese immigrant.

Anyway, I let them know in uncertain terms that I was not only in their club but offended. This was not without risk, but sometimes principle is important. I assume that you made your feelings known to these two cretins as well?

19

Shibb

Errr? Do you mean under no uncertain terms and that you are not in their club?

I hope so.
And Scylla, I wish I could afford to look and dress as evil as you. I have to make due with exuding a seething evil from within.

20

I’ve had this recently too, when staying in a B&B at Blackpool (This is a run down English seaside town). I was in the bar drinking with a group of friends when the owner came to join us. It was a little odd, so we tried to include him in the conversation, it went something like this

Me: I see they’ve set up a bungee jump on one of the peers, do you know how much it is ?

Him: About £20 I think (laughs to himself) I was down there the other day with my 5 year old granddaughter and there was this paki on it, and she shouted out “cut the rope”

Group: <nervously look at each other>

Me: Really that not really on is it ?

Him: It is for pakis.

We finished our drinks and all went out for the night, and avoided breakfast the next morning, the worst thing was his obvious sense of pride that his granddaughter had developed such a keen sense of bigotry and hatred at such a young age.

I think that these people tend to surround themselves with people who share there views, so they start to think that most people think like they do.