Excuse me madam, but I do believe that you've misunderestimated the size of your ass.

Didn’t you ever see Lavergne & Shirley? It’s the “Hubba Hubba Heiney”. Shirley had one.

Speaking as the owner and operator of an ass that nearly qualifies for its own ZIP code, I’ve never understand how people can “misunderestimate” how much space their body occupies and be unaware that portions of their anatomy are in contact with another person. I suspect that most of them just don’t care whether they’re inconveniencing anyone else, since they are the sole purpose for the existance of the universe.

That cracks me up.

I was thinking along the same line, except you’ve managed to word it in a much better way. :smiley:

What the hell is that about??? Crisco???

Is the derogatory name-calling necessary?

If I found myself in these sort of situations regularly, I’d get myself one of those spikey metal studded belts- you know the ones that look almost like medeival armor that you find in places like Hot Topic. You can always take it off when you get to work.

For myself, back when I lived in New Jersey I developed the perfect " I’m insane and want to rip your head off for fun" stare. Worked real good on even the oblivious, so I rarely had issues with personal space. I can make dogs that are normally freindly to me run away in terror, just by staring at them in a certain way.* :smiley:

  • I always make it up later with a treat so that they don’t run away on sight or something.

You’re joking, right? :dubious:

It’s a nickname. It means “fat in the can”. I’ve said it to people who were, in fact, fat in the can. Opining that someones ass has turn signals or its own address is ok, but invoking the brand name of a shortening really sets you off, huh?

Maybe I’m just jealous of them since I have no ass to speak of. Whenever I lean against the edge of a table, I slide off since I don’t have a butt to hold me up.

Hello, my name is Casey, and I have no ass.
Hi, Casey.

Misunderestimated is a perfectly cromulent word.

Just google on “buttocks augmentation” and you’ll find a slew of plastic surgery websites describing how they can make your butt BIGGER. Even after looking at some of the pictures, I still can’t understand how anyone would want a LARGER ass!!

Only in the subliminable context.

Just wanted to chime in to mention that I am impressed that it took, what, 24 posts in a thread about fatness before someone has decided to be offended. Not only that, it hasn’t even been moved to the Pit yet. Way to go floks!

Whywhywhywhywhy would you want a handrail in your buttcrack? I just can’t fathom this action. Holding onto a handrail with your butt? I can see leaning against it with your hip, but the pole in your buttcrack? This isn’t erotic to me, it’s just incomprehensible.

Jacknifed Juggernaut, I think you should have just loudly announced “Excuse me, your butt is touching me.” That might have done the job.

(Alice, I think people who sit next to other people when there are other seats available have a sickness. That’s the only explanation I can think of for it.)

I don’t know, it’s meaning can be easily glorked from context.

I dunno. Maybe she shops at IKEA.

You had to be male and you had to be there.

Don’t worry dude. I totally hear you, and wish I was there!

I really can’t believe anyone would seriously contemplate buying a false freckle. That cracks me up completely.


I HAVE THAT LOOK TOO! I do that to other people in cars when I’m bored. I stare at drivers with a mean and serious look on my face, look directly into their eyes, and I don’t blink. Most of them look away. I do this to one of my dogs when she is trying to challenge me, or thinks I am a crazy stranger trying to steal her food. She growls, then backs off.

Having just read Cicso’ s depilated balls thread, this confused me at first. :smiley:

Years ago, MAD Magazine presented the game “Subway Bingo”. They provided a card with various items in the squares. You were supposed to mark each square when you saw the depicted item. One square was labeled, “Crazy guy staring at you”.


My fave is the one who needed the augmentation “because my butt is smaller than my waist, and my pants keep falling down.” Yes, let’s go and have surgery rather than buying a pair of suspenders. What could be more reasonable?

As for the woman on the elevator, you might have just said to her, “Could you move forwards a bit please?” It’s not like you’d have had to say “The twin african elephants you keep in your pants are crushing the life out of me, lard ass!” There are polite ways to communicate verbally. Even if they’re not as fun.