Believe it or not, she is an honest-to-God “whole” person! Yes, she is small. Yes, she sits in a car seat or a high chair, depending upon what her mother wants. But here’s the thing: she is a whole person. So when I come approach you in the middle of your shift as hostessing the local bar and grill to tell you that we need a non-smoking table for three, I don’t want to hear some stupid-ass crack as: “You mean a table for two and a half?”
No, you stupid bint, I MEAN a TABLE for THREE. 3! 4-1! 1+2! 3! Do you really think she is actually going to take only a half a space at the table? Have you ever seen a baby keep their messes to themselves? Why the hell do you think that her mother and I would see our Sophie as just a “half” a person?!?
You fuckin’ twit. No wonder you’re 48 and working at Denny’s.
(The above rant was brought to you by an exhausted traveller who is working his way to a proper rage to his true enemies: Airlines, airports, and the incompetent, brain-addled (or thieving) assholes who designed the airline reservation web site for Delta.)
The “half” is code for “high chair or booster seat”. In other words, Baby is not going to be held in Parent’s arms, and you’re not expecting another person to join you.
And I bet you’d be more than happy to refer to mini-JohnT as a half or even a non-person if you were taking her to the cinema or on a flight. Or do you WANT to pay full-price/fare for her?
Don’t get your knickers in a knot about such silliness.
Lynn is entirely correct. However, back in the days when I was working in restaurants, I would never have said this to a customer, just because they wouldn’t have understood it. I might have asked, “Two and a high-chair, sir?” just to be sure the person getting the table ready had what you needed, and, as Lynn said, we knew you weren’t waiting for another adult. Because some people actually don’t include babies in their count, and then they want a high-chair, and it would have been so much easier if they had been clear beforehand…
When I go out to eat in a group that includes an infant or small child, I usually say “X and a half” when telling how many people, and usually indicate the child. And if I happened to say “three,” I wouldn’t mind hearing the hostess say to a co-worker, “We need a table for two and a half,” using the “code” that Lynn mentioned. But I do think it was a little rude for the hostess to “correct” the customer in this case, and I can see why a tired, cranky traveler would be annoyed. My thinking would be, “Yeah, whatever. Can we just get a table, please?”
College student who waitresses on the side speaking here…
Like everyone else has said, half is a term for either highchair or booster. I too would never say it in front of a customer, but you would be shocked at the high percentage of people who come up and ask for seating for 2 and half or just don’t mention their child at all.
Here’s a coupon for a free Grand Slam at Denny’s. Maybe you could save up some money and buy a sense of humor too, because I seriously doubt she meant to impune wonderful Sophie. So get some rest, and we’ll see you later. Hope your trip was otherwise fun.
we usually specify “x adults and x kids” to spare any confusion. but then, we are often waiting for more adults, and at least one of our kids doesn’t need his own seat (since he can’t sit up, yet).
i think if a waitress said something like “two and a half?” to me, i’d probably respond, “no, she’s four and he’s three” before i realized what she meant.
“And a half” is a joke, whether code or not. If you don’t think its funny, fine. I understand–after all, it’s cutesy and overplayed. But that’s all it is.
From the title, I thought you were living in Japan, and were preparing to rant because you’re getting sick of people calling your bi-racial child “half”.
I’m serious. Apparently, I have two halfs. Which mathematically makes one child. But I have two book two seats on aeroplanes…
And if anyone else comes up and says “You are so lucky, halfs are so cute” I’m gonna punch their nose in.
Good god, are you really so oversensitive that you think they regard your child as half a person?
She does however probably take up half (or less) the space of a full adult, eat half (or less) the food of a full adult, and I am sure you are quite happy to pay half (or less) for tickets/fares/meals for her.
Oh yeah - and just go and insult someone for the fact that they happen to be working in a low-paid job at the age of 48.
perfume.