My ex-girlfriend (at least, someone with my ex-girlfriend’s name at the employer she was working for last time I spoke to her) looked me up on LinkedIn a few months ago.
My current girlfriend is FB-connected to her but I’m not. I’m not interested in being friends with her, though I don’t mean that in a huffy way; if she sent a FB request I’d probably accept, but I’m not going to make the move because I don’t see any benefits to doing so.
I am FB-friends with two former crushes, but those weren’t reciprocal relationships.
Concerning me, I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, a blog, any kind of image sharing thing like tumblr or whatever people use now, or a cell phone (I’m 27, by the way). So if anyone wanted to find anything about me, they wouldn’t be able to because a google search of my name finds nothing. That limits any unwanted conversations for me.
On my end, I don’t look up anyone. I’m sure all of them (and there are a “few”) have some manner of social networking or whatever, but I’m just not interested. I don’t wish any of them any harm or bad times or whatever else. We all ended our things in bad ways, but the most recent break up was something like six or seven years ago already. Anything that they may be feeling about me is weirdly misplaced, at least in my mind, so I’m not really interested one way or the other. I assume they’ve dealt with it and don’t think about me anymore like is the case with me.
Again, no bad blood. I’m just not interested whatsoever. Not to mention that the person I am now is not the person (in any way, shape, or form) they knew then.
My first ex-spouse - when we split it was relatively amicable but I was clearly the one leaving, they took it hard. The few times we met up afterward for administrative stuff they always told me not to ever contact them again. OK, as much as I would have liked to remain ~friends, I respected the request. And then they would call me up to meet for some additional administrative stuff, rinse repeat. But then we were done and it all stopped.
A few years later they sent me a change of address when they moved.
Then Facebook happened. They friended many of our mutual friends, and many of my relatives (sisters, cousins, aunts/uncles) - consequently they are always showing up in the recommended list.
Curiously, often whenever one of these mutual friends or relatives posts something my ex will comment right away. I can’t help but think they are sorta pinging me.
However, we have both remarried long ago, and I was told repeatedly in the past to not contact them - so I don’t.
But here’s the kooky part - the ex recently got a part-time professor job at the University where my current spouse is an administrative executive. Kewl!
So, I don’t feel I’m stalking or casually following them - instead I feel they kinda are waving their hand saying “pay attention to me!”
I am friends in real life with several past girlfriends. Real friends in that we get together and do real things. I know their families, participate in birthdays, the whole shebang. In fact perhaps my closest friend is a former girlfriend.
I have several I am still casual acquaintances/facebook friends with. I exchange a casual conversation from time to time. But beyond that I have no real contact with them.
Many (maybe most) have disappeared somewhere somehow. I don’t know where they are or what they are doing. Some I wouldn’t mind re-connecting with and becoming friends again. I can’t imagine dating any of them again.
I also have contact with my ex-wife. That is more a point of necessity than anything though. While I wish her nothing but the best, we aren’t particularly good for each other. And if it weren’t for the kids, I would actively cut off all communication. It is just too difficult and painful to deal with her. Interestingly, she is really the only ex in my life that I would actually block from my life if I could.
I have one ex who is a stalker. No question about it, no exaggeration, and to this day (we broke up maybe five years ago) I have to be careful.
Another, very long-term, relationship ended about twelve years ago. I occasionally bump into her on the street (we both still live in the city in which we were a couple for nearly twenty years), and we’re friendly enough to each other. I always know what she’s up to (at least professionally - I have no interest in her personal life) because she’s kind of a celeb in her field (not entertainment - business) and everyone knows her. She turns up on TV fairly regularly as a commentator, so once in a while I’ll turn on the news and there she’ll be. So it’s kind of hard for me not to be aware of her, at least.
I’m Facebook friends with one ex (my DH knows this and has no problem with it). Nice to see when something goes well for him, since the split was friendly enough. We simply had different ideas about what we wanted in life that made us not a good couple.
Missed the edit window, wanted to add that the breakup mentioned was in 1994, I got married in another state in 1995, ex came to the second reception, which was held in my home area. He and my husband got along fine.
High school boyfriends - really there’s only one of any note, and I used to keep in touch with him on Facebook (and previously, the occasional email or AIM convo) but not in a few years now, which makes me sad. He was a good friend. I don’t really keep tabs on him. (Is it insulting to say that I assume he’ll be right where he was the last time I talked to him five years ago, and that I’d probably be correct?)
Ex-husband - that one also makes me sad. He was my best friend for many years, but after the breakup there was just too much weirdness - we couldn’t maintain the friendship at all. We haven’t spoken in years now. It sucks to have lost someone that was such a big part of my life for so long. I don’t really keep tabs on him, either, though we have a few mutual friends and occasionally I’ll get an update.
Various random guys that I dated during my single years - none of them were interesting or memorable enough to bother keeping tabs on. I’ve forgotten some of their names. LOL.
I’ve been IRL friends with my high school sweetie for years. We have a godson in common, his sister and I were running buddies back in the day (the godson is her kid) and he’s still best friends with my cousin. Generally, we see one another at some point when I go up north to see the folks.
One man that I lived with for nearly nine years (and helped raise his kids) and I are now good friends who actually get out and do stuff (as friends) together.
A couple of short term BFs are FB friends, but we don’t see or contact each other much IRL.
My ex-wife has my kids, all my stuff and half my money. We have to be in close contact.
My first high school girlfriend has become one of my best friends. We hadn’t spoken in 20 years.
My first serious girlfriend I knew throughout high school but we started dating right after. I was not very good at being a boyfriend. She was moving out of the area and I didn’t know how to handle it so I basically just stopped seeing her. I figured she hated me. I tried to contact her a little while later and never got a reply. Years later I found her on Classmates and left her a private message. She contacted me over a year later. She hadn’t checked it for a while and then she saw my message. I was very happy to hear that she was very successful and happy. Then things got weird.
I apologized for how we broke up and hoped that she had forgiven me. I found out there was stuff going on I didn’t know. I knew she had a bad relationship with her father. She wouldn’t let me meet him. After they moved he beat her severely. She ran away and joined the Navy. Met her husband and started her life. She was not mad at me. In fact she had blocked out what we were together as well as all the bad things. When we started talking it brought back all the good memories and the bad ones. She started having feelings for me again. Feelings she didn’t even remember having. Sent her right back to the shrink. We decided it was best to not keep talking.
I would like to know what happened to my girlfriend from when I was stationed in Germany. No idea how to find her.
This thread prompted me to look up my first ex, who I’ve had no contact with for 28 years. Found her on Facebook. Now I don’t know whether it’d be better to renew contact with her or leave her in peace. I do expect it’s been enough time for the weirdness to have subsided.
My second ex (from whom I split 3 years ago) doesn’t use internet, but we’re still in frequent contact and I go over there to visit and help out all the time.
I only have those two exes. Hey, 2 Xs! XX! I like that.
I’ve lost track of all my exes (stayed friends with most of them afterwards until the friendships just grew thin and faded away), but the girl I was in love with in high school (but wasn’t involved with) has been a tenured professor for many years now at a major Midwestern university. I check her faculty page once every few years to see what she looks like these days.
When I posted here originally, the “high school boyfriend” thing didn’t occur to me because I didn’t have any boyfriends in high school. I did go on one or two dates with a guy, though, and several years ago I got a message via Classmates that he was trying to reconnect with me. I didn’t want to pay to be able to get/send messages there, but it would be interesting to get in touch with him now and see what he’s up to these days. His name is very common, though (like the ex who I’d like to catch up with…in fact, they have the same first name), so trying to look him up on Facebook, etc., would be a nonstarter.
Dude, your nitpick is neither a whoosh nor a nitpick: her reference went over your head.
I agree. I reluctantly set up a private FB page because some of my friends use FB almost exclusively to keep their friends and family informed about their lives. But I haven’t sought out my exes. Either I don’t want anything further to do with them or, like davekhps, I don’t really want to hear that my ex and his new honey are living the life I’d hoped to share with him. I am still in touch with my second husband, whose current wife has become a very good friend of mine. If I want to talk to him (or her), I pick up the phone.
