You’re not in Toronto, are you? Because my wedding is October 1, my fiance has a huge family, and we know that some invites didn’t arrive…:eek: His mom was supposed to talk to everyone in the family to make sure they know they are invited…
I think this bears repeating. There’s a polite way to see if you were invited, without making them feel like they have to save face by inviting you, or even being awkward. They get out of flat out telling you that you weren’t invited, and you get to know for sure. It’s win-win.
Well, it turns out that I am rude in one sense. I just found/remembered that we had been invited to the bridal shower. This one I honestly forgot about and never called to say we wouldn’t be coming. I remembered it and then found the shower invitation pinned to the bulletin board so that I’d remember to do something with it. :smack: So… I’m back to the feeling of extreme oddness. Or maybe they just figured that if we weren’t interested in attending that event that we wouldn’t be interested in the big show.
I do appreciate what DMark and BigT suggested, but I don’t know. I’m not a people person and I don’t think I could pull that off. Those words, that conversation wouldn’t come naturally to me. It would be extremely out of character for any of us to chat on the phone. Mostly I email the mother and may see her at my great aunt and uncle’s house but I’d never really have an occasion to talk to the groom. I have rather large issues with social conversations in general and I think this would sound rather forced.
ETA: I’m going to email the Mother of the Groom in a little bit to see how her vacation was and how my great aunt and uncle are doing since we haven’t made it over there in awhile. We’ll see what comes of that.
Honey, you know I adore you. You probably owe the bride an explanation and a little apology. If you said you were coming then never showed and never called, she could very likely be hurt. Even if it has nothing to do with the wedding invite, you need to clean that part up.
Now give us a hug and here’s a cookie.
No!!! I never said I was coming.
What I meant to say was that I never called to tell them what we were doing either way.
I would just apologize to the shower host, that’s the person who collected the RSVP’s. Something short and simple, it’s not that big of a deal. I mean, you’re supposed to reply, etc, but again, they could have called you if it was that important to them.
But really, I wouldn’t worry too much about any of this. You obviously make an effort to stay in touch, even if there was a little blip around this wedding. Maybe just arrange a visit with mom and grandma after the fuss of the wedding is over.
Okie Dokes. Sorry.
The shower hosts are complete strangers to me and the shower was over a month ago, but I understand what you’re saying.
Do I still get a cookie?
If you were invited to the shower, and not to the wedding, that’s a HUGE no-no on their part!
Do I still get a cookie?
[/QUOTE]
Any kind you’d like!
Doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of proper ettiquite knowledge among any of the parties for this shindig.
Really? When I got married there were a lot of people at the shower who weren’t invited to the wedding. Mom’s friends and church ladies, mainly.
In my experience it’s considered a real faux pas to do that.
I personally called everyone on our guest list who I actually wanted to attend if they didn’t RSVP.
That’s a new one to me. For instance, at my office, we have showers for co-workers who are getting married, but it’s not like we’re all getting invited to the weddings. We realize that most of us aren’t close enough friends of the happy couple to be invited to the wedding, but because of our work relationships with them, we still want to do something to wish them well and make them feel special. Showers give us that opportunity.
Plus, as someone upthread said, the couple (or the bride’s parents) are the ones responsible for wedding invitations, but they are NOT generally responsible for shower invitations.
I can see what you’re saying, but this wasn’t a work shower. It was the traditional shower thrown by family members. And in this case I agree with Guinastasia and IvoryTowerDenizen.
To me, getting a bridal shower invite but not a wedding one reads like, “You’re good enough to give us a gift but we don’t actually want your presence on our actual day of celebration.”
Yes, I agree with you. But in defense of my relatives they’re not that sort and that’s what’s so strange about it all. I’m not trying to beat a dead horse, but I did feel the need to set the record straight that they are good, decent people.
Any chance the wedding invitation arrived and got misplaced and forgotten? If not by you, then by someone else in the house?