There was a movie or book, I can’t remember which, where somebody told the soldiers to line up “asshole to belly button.” Clearly that means squashed together in a very tight line, though the holes and the buttons wouldn’t necessarily be at the same level. 
The current Army version of this is line up “nuts to butts.” These parts tend to line up uncomfortably so.
SSG Schwartz
And since this thread has already wandered to Bangkok and back, if you watch closely you may notice that Apone is wearing a Masonic ring.
I don’t know why that would be significant to anyone but a few Masons, but there you go…
Been there, done that in many a bar. The best I’ve ever seen was one girl who could actually hit a moving target with a vaginally propelled dart. Midnite Bar in Soi Cowboy, their grand opening. I don’t know where they found this talented lass, but you could pat the balloon across the room, and she’d nail it every time.
Seen that, too.
I’ve also seen a girl blow out the candles on a birthday cake with her vagina. All manner of other things, too. Write their names. Use chopsticks. It’s a remarkably versatile organ.
But the scary ones to me are the ones who can open bottles and pull razor blades out. One mamasan was kind enough to draw me a little diagram showing how the girl fits the bottle opener and the sheath holding the razor blades up there, but really, would YOU want to chance taking that girl back to your room? :eek:
There are many such phrases in the military. In the British Army of the 60s the cry that often roused us from our beds was “Off cocks on socks!”, ie hands off cocks and on socks.
It’s said a lot within the landscaping world. All you see is “assholes and elbows” when everyone is doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Bent over working.
Jeez… Remind me how we got here?
We’re in the thread, five by five.
Well, this thread is good as any to hijack.
Why, when someone says “it’s hot,” someone else will say “yeah, but it’s a dry heat.” Then they laugh like that’s really funny.
What’s the joke? It was Bill Paxton’s smart-ass character in Aliens who said it, but I’ve heard it many, many times elsewhere. What’s so damn funny about that?
Yeah, I know a hot dry climate is considered a bit more bearable than a humid hot climate. But where’s the funny joke? Is it something sexual?
I always figured the real humour (for the audience) in that bit was how quickly and impatiently the other marines tell him to shut up. There was a lot of hostility directed at Hudson and his stupid jokes, actually:
[ul][li]The knife bit[/li][li]“Look into my eye!”[/li][li]“No, have you?”[/li][li]“Quit fuckin’ around!” (after one of the marines mock-shoves him toward a hole made by spilled alien blood)[/li][li]“Why don’t we build a campfire, sing some songs?!”[/li][li]“Hey, fuck you!” (after Hudson’s ‘illegal aliens’ remark)[/ul][/li]
I get the distinct impression that they were all pretty sick of him. I’m sure when his time was up (“And I was gettin’ short, four weeks and out. Now I’m gonna buy it on this rock.”) none of them were going to particularly miss him.
IIRC, when Hudson said it there was water (or Alien slime) dripping off everything so it was not a dry heat after all.
Which contributes to my confusion about the joke. Whether humid or dry, someone will say “yeah, but it’s a dry heat!” Yuk, yuk, yuk.
I think that’s just one of those things that people repeat because it’s so cliche. Up here it’s, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” (Groan.) Someone’s always gotta say it.
Just like everytime I’m sitting at someone else’s desk (which is pretty frequently, since I provide network support) someone will walk past and say “Hi, Bob.” (Or whoever’s desk I happen to be sitting at.) Haw haw haw, never gets old, that.
I myself never tire asking those of above-average height for remote weather reports.
Okay, as long as we’re here…can somebody explain the “Look into my eye” thing?
Sarge is pointing to his eye with his middle finger.
The only time I ever found that funny was in a cartoon showing two guys in Hell and one of them saying it.
Ah, okay. Duh.
Thanks!
And the hilarious variant: “Hi Bob! Wow, you’ve changed!”