Well, that’s uh, one approach! 
I like that. My son once was winning a debate between him and his sister (I believe over use of the TV) when he suddenly lost the debate (I was the judge) by addressing his sister with “Seriously, woman!” - not only did he lose video game privileges (his reason for wanting the TV), he needed to write me a three page paper on feminism before having his game returned. The use of the word “woman!” to address his sister when he is disgusted with her has disappeared from his vocabulary completely.
I’m holding in reserve the paper on the Stonewall riots for inappropriate use of the words “gay” or “fag.”
If you think swear words are meant to offend you don’t live in a large city. Every other person says “f’ing this” and “f’ing that” It’s bitch, hell, damn, ass…etc etc
You walk anywhere in Chicago and swear words are just buzz words. M-F this and M-F that, by everyone out there.
I think swearing is just like anything you teach kids, there’s a time and a place for everything. Just like sometimes you can eat food with your hands and other times you use silverware.
Penn Jillette wrote an excellent essay on his attempt to swear less. Here’s the link, but it is not working for me, getting stuck in a loop between their server and Google’s. But I found a forum where it had been
[quoted in full]
(Swearing | Rational Response Squad).
There really is no reason other than some people get their panties in a twist about it. I would only say to try to be creative at it.
That was awesome.
It must be sort of depressing, when you have gone through life trying to sound cool and outsidery, and you suddenly realize that in reality you sound like a mall rat.
I was always told that swearing simply demostrated your limited vocabulary or your inability to express your thoughts without vulgar explicatives. This was not only considered impolite conversation, but also showed your ignorance. I don’t like being called stupid.
I agree with **Dangermom, **though. Good points.
Nowadays, I don’t swear much. Unless I’m pissed. Which is rare. Because I just don’t care, and the people I get pissed at don’t listen anyway, so I try to keep my mouth shut.
That works for younger kids. Or “Because you might say that in front of Grandma, and she will wash your mouth out with soap, and I won’t be able to stop her.”
For older children, the explanations given here – makes you sound like an uneducated idiot, makes people lose respect for you – would make more sense.
Regarding the impact/offensiveness of swearing:
My brother came back from 4 years in the Navy with a real bad habit of swearing constantly without even seeming to notice it: for example, “pass the damn potatoes, please” at the dinner table.
This went on for a while, until one day my mother exploded “What the hell is wrong with you?” and proceeded to a 10-minute reaming-out of him for the language he used.
But my mother saying the one word “hell” had much more impact than the innumerable swear words that had been peppering my brothers talk.
You might have missed part of the point. The horrid experience of having to learn something when they’re not even in school will help them exercise self control, but the subject will also become undesirable.
My parents didn’t understand that, which is why one of my evil twins wanted to start this post this way:
You’re doing it wrong. Just like a woman.
Swearing is a way to say you’re older and whether you’re in the in group or the out group, particularly during teenage years, and as a way of rebelling against adults without going too far.
Which is why much of the above will be ignored during that period.
Otara
It is, however, an effective strategy. And I don’t think my son will ever think feminism is a desirable subject. He isn’t the Women’s Studies major type. Forcing him to write about the topic isn’t really going to change his position on it as a field of study. But, believe it or not, it DID teach him a thing or two about women’s struggles, which have now been used as points in other debates. He got it.
When they’re very young, I simply tell them, “Those are grown-ups words. Please don’t use them until you’re more grown-up.” If pressed, we discuss how there are grown-up drinks (beer) and grown-up activities (driving) and grown-up tv shows and… Never had a problem with this strategy, used with many children in my life.
As they get older, we have discussions (not lectures) about the other things mentioned in this thread.
Well, exactly. But if you allow it when they’re young or when they’re around the family, then they can’t use it as a tool of rebellion and peer identity. I’d rather they get their early teen kicks through the use of a few “fucks” and “cunts” than by more dangerous behaviors.
I’m glad Penn Gilette decided to quit swearing. I liked his “Bullshit” program but wouldn’t encourage some friends or family see it because of the offensive language. His points really did get lost in the language.
I tell my kids that there is a time a place for swearing such as casual conversations with friends or hitting your thumb with a hammer, and then there are places where that language is not acceptable such as with grandma or at school with teachers. They seem to understand the distinctions.
It’s not about meaning. The words “poop,” “crap,” and “shit” all mean exactly the same thing, but have different levels of offensiveness.
I wonder how widespread it is (in time and place) for a culture to have “swear words” that shock and offend and are taboo to say in “polite company.” I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s universal.
It’s useful to have words that are “strong language,” that grab the attention and can shock or offend. But if you use them too often or too casually, then either you shock and offend when you don’t mean to (as the first response to this thread pointed out), or they get weakened and lose their ability to shock and offend (as the second response pointed out).
Swearing is for church and family functions only!
Whoa! I am stunned. I can’t believe Penn doesn’t swear anymore. That was such a huge part of his personality. I understand his stated reason, but I am still stunned.
I don’t think I would ever tell a child just straight up ‘don’t swear’. I would just let them know that there are many people who get offended by it, so time and place, and all that. I honestly don’t know how to explain why it’s offensive without sounding like a real asshole. I mean, I don’t want to start calling people’s religious beliefs ridiculous, or their taboos and superstitions silly. So I don’t know how I would explain it to a kid.
People who condemn ‘cussers’ as ignorant, or inarticulate are the same kind of people who will read an entire well thought-out and well written post and dismiss the whole thing because of a spelling error or typo. I mean, once you hear Obama or Martin Luther King or John Kennedy or whoever say ‘fuck’ once or twice, you realize that whole ‘if you curse it is because you have a limited vocabulary’ nonsense goes right out the window.
The idea that one has to be really, super angry to use a curse word is lost on me, too. Like Markxxx said, folks use those words all the time, just all of the time. Not just when they stub their toe. It can jazz up some conversations. Give it some color, some zing, some pop! Doesn’t have to be words of rage.
Recently, contemplating some of my favorite Jamaican swear words, I noticed something about the word ‘bumbaclaat’ which traditionally was considered a highly offensive profanity. I noticed that word is also somewhat of a…it is hard to explain, but…, it is somewhat of an expression of joy or pleasure. I guess kind of the way someone might utter ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’ when getting some good head. If one is in a reggae club, and the d.j. plays a really good song, everyone will get excited, bang the walls and ceiling and many will shout out ‘bumbaclaaaaat!!!’ It’s actually really fun, if not exactly mature.
I would hate to save up curse words for when I’m ‘really angry’ or ‘really trying to have an impact’ or whatever. When you feel the need to really have an impact, shit, that’s probably the best time to really strip it down to plain truth, like my man Penn says. That would be the best time maybe, to not swear. Challenge yourself to make that impact raw and stripped down. Sounds like fun, too. Like that nun in catholic school* who can lean in real close to you and whisper something to make your eyes pop, without ever taking her lord’s name in vain.
*never went to catholic school. Just guessing.
Most Spanish cursewords are about religion, is religion meant to offend? (I’m not asking whether it offends)
I can tell you that I consider resorting to curses, and specially streams of profanity which consist of variations on a single word, when other resources are available and as fitting or more, to be a sign of poor vocabulary, lack of self-control and lack of imagination. Letting out a “fff…UUUCK!” when you’ve hit your hand closing the car’s door, ok; “you fucks can just fuck off, I’m fucking sick of you, blahblah fuck blahblah fucking blahblah fucked”? Dude was out of town when they were handing brains.
Cussin’, like kissin’, should be done properly.
That’s only because a lot of people – whether they live in a large city or not – have not learned how to moderate their language. Society is becoming cruder and cruder by the minute.
I don’t think that things are much worse now than they were, say, 30 years ago. It’s just that in a city you’ll hear more swearing because there are more people.
I don’t think things are much worse now, I think the *words *have simply changed. Grandma, I’m sure, thought that the world was going to the dogs when her children used the words “hell” or “damn”. Now they’re on television, during prime time. But we have other “bad” words instead.
My children (thanks to school, not me) get the vapors if someone uses the word “stupid”. My grandchildren may grow up asking mom to make them a “fucking sandwich” and not get a blink, and then go off with their friends to posture and shock each other with “those *stupid *test questions.”