That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day… I’m laughing my ass off!
nurses are infamous for their humor. INFAMOUS!
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A guy in the programming group down the hall looks remarkably like the Dos Equis guy. He has a still from the commercial tacked outside his cube. The caption says, "I don’t always test my code, but when I do, I prefer to test in Production.
[/QUOTE]
I want this as a poster.
My company provides ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) services for children with autism. I had a new supervisor come on one of my cases and I was explaining to her why I was still working with the same client after three years. (Typically the state doesn’t want to fund beyond two years.) I told her: “Every time we start talking about fading out the program, Client’s Mother calls Big Names in Autism Research, who call the State Agency, and they grant an extension.”
My supervisor responded: “I don’t care if Ivar Lovaas calls from his grave!”
I’m a teacher. While eating with another teacher, he looked up from his sandwich and said, “This bread tastes kinda SPED.”
Robert Ballard, discover of the Titanic, told this story at a program I attended.
When a submersible reaches a certain depth, water droplets begin to condense around the door seal. The crew doesn’t bother to inform first timers about this. When the droplets appear, they start giving each other weird looks, and eventually one screams out, “Oh My God”. Everyone has a good laugh watching the newbie react.
Fortunately, excellent bladder and bowel control are prerequisites for deep water oceanographers.
The programmer used this photo.
Try me. I’m a psych nurse, not much fazes me.
I currently work on a mixed unit…geriatric psychiatry, so people roughly age 60+ with depression, schizophrenia, bipolar spectrum disorder, and so forth, as well as people with dementia…Alzheimer’s and others.
We have been short staffed lately and have been working long hours, extra overtime and so forth. Yesterday I couldn’t figure out where I had put my bus pass. But hubby phoned and told me I had left it… on the bathtub ledge at home.
“Oh good,” I said," I wasn’t sure if I was forgetful or crazy."
A co worker passed me by at that time and said “Either way, you’re in the right place.”
Being able to joke over a headless body is a prerequisite.
From my time in the Army there were quite a few jokes that were pulled on new privates and lieutenants.
Army radios had the designation PRC such as the common portable unit the AN/PRC-77. It was commonly know as a prick 77. A sergeant first class is an E7. We would tell a new private to the crustiest SFC in the unit and ask for a prick E7.
Lots of snipe hunts. Go find a box of grid squares. Get me 100 feet of flight line. A gallon of rotor wash. A pint of squelch juice. Each person would send the private to a higher ranking one until he was asking the sergeant major how to get an ASH dispenser.
I saw a version of this at a previous workplace. It included the finisher, “Stay on call, my friends.”
My favorite IT joke is to refer to an RTFM error: “Read The Fucking Manual”.
:dubious:
Are you a squint?
CAPT
I’m currently working in a Broadway scene shop for the summer. It’s a big place, with several shows being built simultaneously and often as many as 40 carpenters/metalworkers on the floor every day. At the end of the day, one of the office guys comes around with a clipboard and asks everyone what shows they’ve been working on and how many hours they spent on each. Every day, I make it my objective to give new names to the shows that are just similar enough to the real title (or what I said the day before) that the clipboard guy can figure out what I’ve been working on.
- “Book of Mormon” becomes “Tome of Abstemious Polygamists” and “Anthology of Utah-Dwelling Jesus-Worshipers”
- “Kinky Boots” becomes “Raunchy Clogs” and “Sexually Deviant Footwear”
- “Enemy of the People” becomes “Energy of the Purple” and “Subjugation of the Homo Sapiens” and “Invasion of the Intergalactic Nipple Twisters”
There’s also job code 100, which basically refers to cleaning up the shop when there’s no real work to do. Mostly just sweeping and returning tools to the tool room. This week it became “Dragging my dick around” and then “Scraping my dick against a --” before he cut me off and walked away. I chortled merrily.
My nickname at work is “Weinerporn”, and due to the demographics of the shop floor, everyone feels comfortable referring to me as such without any regard to who might be listening. A few fridays ago, the big boss decided to buy lunch for everyone off the food truck. Somehow I hadn’t heard, so when lunch break started, I just sat by myself with my packed lunch, wondering where everyone was. An office lady came by and told me what was happening, then looked up and saw another carpenter coming back in with his free food. The conversation went like this:
Lady: “Tom, why didn’t you tell him about the free food?”
Tom: “Fuck weinerporn!”
Lady: “… what?”
The look on her face was priceless; she obviously had no idea what my nickname was. I chortled merrily.
A guy I used to work with would joke about “I-D-TEN-T” errors. (ID10T)
Then of course there is the acronym PEBCAC - Problem Exists Between Chair And Computer.
We used to use PBCAC in close out comments on tickets. All the techs knew that it was a short hand way to say that this ticket isn’t going to shed light on technical trends.
Well, a consultant didn’t bother to ask about it until it showed up in his report to management where he was adamantly recommending an upgrade project to correct the high level of PBCAC problems. I can’t remember what he THOUGHT PBCAC stood for, but three of us could barely hold it together through the rest of the presentation because, try as we might, we couldn’t get the VP to break. We’d chime in on every other point with with, “Oh, yes PBCAC is causing those problems too… we really need to address this PBCAC upgrade.”
Bless his heart, after the meeting the VP explained PBCAC to the consultant who wasn’t hired back for the next phase of the project.
MOSFET = Magically Obliterated Smoke and Fire Emitting Transistor (because that is what commonly happens when you are designing high-power circuits like SMPSs, although they are superior to bipolar transistors for such uses).
Also, the one about 10 types of people in the world.
And picture is worth A000 words.
Ask the new parts guy the look up a thermostat for a 1970 Corvair. 
Don’t forget the PICNIC error.
Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.