When something really cracks me up, I’ll say “That’s a hoot and a half!” or “You’re a hoot and a half” While painting my friend’s mom’s bedroom I said it rather quickly and was told that it sounded German… So it’s now “hootenheif” I get great looks from that one 
I tend to use “shwack” as a term for anything that isn’t right or in my way. For example, “That won’t move with all that shwack in the way.” or, “You see that shwack over there? I need you to hit it with your shwacker so we can get going.”
Shwag is also a great all-purpose word - I think it grew from the term “swag,” which I first heard used to refer to free stuff, but now I use it for anything that I can’t really describe: " Add some more shwag to that shwack and we’ll be good to go." The amazing thing is that people still understand me…
Also, has anyone here heard of “mook” as an insult (mook = idiot)? A friend of mine used to use it all the time, and I haven’t heard it from anybody but him. Great word, though. “Geez, what a mook.”
I say “you got that all back-assed fuckward” sometimes. It’s supposed to be a bastardization of “Half-assed backward”, but often people don’t get it. They say things like “What’s a fukwurd?” when I use the phrase. So, I guess it’s not nearly as funny or interesting to other people as it was to me when I thought it up.
I find this is often true whenever I share something “original”.
So, uh, yep, that’s what I got to contribute.
I’m a big fan of the wit and wisdom of Bugs Bunny, but so far “whatta maroon!” is still earning me funny looks. Anything particularly groan-worthy is utterly craptactular, and I’m thirding ‘cool beans’ as well.
Re the OP, it’s “what’s-her-butt” in my circle. Samey same. 
You too? My parents used to say that all the time when my brother and I were little. Dunno where it came from.
I use the term “futzing around” when I’m doing something without any particular goal in mind, i.e. “I’m just futzing around with Photoshop right now.” It is a real word–I checked–but I have no idea where or when I first heard it. It just seemed like the right word to use, somehow.
A few years ago, I had a couple of dorm-mates who were twin sisters and total anime fanatics. Their day-to-day conversation was often spiced with quotes from whichever shows they’d been watching recently. At one point, instead of saying “Cool!” or “Awesome!” or the like, they would say “Sweet bean roll!” (In case you cared, it’s an out-of-context quote from Cowboy Bebop. If you can tell what episode it’s from, you win 50 geek points.)
I’m sure there are more, but that’s all that comes to mind at the moment.
I am dying of curiousity now to know where the “You got it Pontiac” thing comes from. I’ve known it as long as I can remember, and my whole family says it regularly. I always assumed it had been used in Pontiac advertising back in the day, but a Google search brings up only 85 entries (including a “10 Expressions that Give Away Your Age” list), and none of them seem to mention anything about the origin.
I do too.
A similar situation to what you have going with ‘futz’, with me, is ‘snarky’. Although sometimes I swear I coined it and it spread from me, given the number of times I get blank looks from it.
When something goes wrong, I blame the gnomes. ‘Gnomes… knowing nod’
hehe, we use “oh-dick-hundred” (…in the morning/this morning, etc).
mine’s similar (what’s-his-nut), and often “what’s-his-fuck”.
this is sweet. I’m stealing it.
and, though I know I didn’t make these up, I seem to be the only one outside my eccentric little group that says them:
“bopper” for ditzy or otherwise annoyingly girlish girl
“grit” for cigarette and “hit a grit” for smoking one
I have a few things I say. Real words, but expressions I’ve never heard anyone else use.
Nyago! (sometimes Nyago Mechanical Pencil!) to mean anything. Tone of voice indicates what it means. Sometimes it means nothing.
Baklava! (same)
I also use “Meow” as in, “What the meow?” and “Holy meow!”
Nod to the OP: “What’s-his-teeth”
When swearing without bad words, I go either one of two routes: either it’s “filth-flarn-flarn-filth” or I give a monologue on the antecedents of the offending article: [to a poorly behaved computer] “Your mother was an abacus and your father was a wrench.”
When asked “where’s my (insert item here)?” I automatically answer, “I ate it for breakfast.”
Absconded from a Brit of my early acquaintance: “Fuck you very much.” I heard him say this to restaurant patrons on their way out the door. Only one couple actually comprehended what he said, given that the majority of them were expecting him to say “Thank you very much,” and were distracted by the accent. It was his last day on the job.
Another “futz” user here.
I also like to use the British expressions,
“Right then, there you go.” / “Well, there you go then” / “There you have it”
I also like to use “internet” in weird an awkward ways…
“So I was downloading this song off my internet”
“I think my interweb is broken” <— That’s a personal favourite.
“…and so I dialed in to the world wide inn’ernet…”
Elret
Aha! So there are others out there. Indeed, the origins of thise phrase seem quite a mystery.
I use the word “spooky” pretty often, and I once got a comment about it. I had never noticed before that “spooky” isn’t used all that often. Is it that its meaning has been cheaped by Halloween commercialism? Still, I’ll continue to use “spooky” for spooky situations, especially for the cheesy Halloween kind.
SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKY!
I wish I had my own. There are a few one-word, fairly meaningless phrases that I and a bunch of my friends say all the time, in a quick, loud voice, like the “Grasped!” or “Children!” etc. lines in TGS (http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html). A few are:
“Oh, ridiculous!”
“Sass!”
“Death!” or “It’s death!” (or as I like to spell it, “DaetH!”)
A friend of mine uses “pants” for “cool” apparently because she believes that pants are cool (and I can’t say I disagree). As in, “I’m going shopping tomorrow, and it’s gonna be so pants.”
By the way, in response to the popular, but offensive, “That’s so gay,” a few people I know have been trying to circulate “That’s so straight,” or “That’s so homeless,” (this last one is supposed to make you think “Homeless? How arbitrary! Oh wait, so is “gay” actually…”) but they haven’t really caught on.
Now that I think about it, I say “oh wait” a lot, as in “Okay, so why don’t you just complain about it then? Oh wait, you already did.” or “Yeah, well maybe you should just be a horrible, boring person. Oh wait, you already are.”
I also ocassionally say “Oh man!” in a particular voice which is hard to describe.
And whenever I heard the number 50, or 27, or 37 or the expression “5+5” I think of this song: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/schfiftyfive.html
I suppose that’s all.
I lived in Winnipeg, and I always thought that “You got it, Pontiac!” was a wider-spread slogan; but the fact that someone specifically mentioned Winnipeg (along with the more specific form “…Park Pontiac!” which I also remember), suggests that it may be peculiar thereto, or maybe survives only there.
When I was a kid, I came up somehow with the word “murphlewhumper,” which I don’t remember actually inventing but which nobody else seems to have heard of.
I have inherited the word “hedgehog” from my mother. It means “sideboard,” particularly the very large sideboard we have in the hallway at home; she apparently made it up when she couldn’t remember the word “sideboard.” I spent most of my childhood thinking that was the actual word.
I use the word “dingy” to refer to anything I can’t think of the right name for at the moment. “Frob” is used to refer to any small object that performs a useful function–this is actually a word commonly used in the geek community, but as far as I know I’m the only person who uses it with this meaning.
My dad and I also use the phrase “I should hope to kiss a pig!” in various tones to express anything from sarcasm at the obvious to enthusiastic agreement. He says he got it from his dad. So far as I know, he and I are the only people to use the expression. Neither my mom nor my brother have ever used it (in my hearing, at any rate).
It’s not a phrase, but I use fortnight (meaning two weeks) often. When I first used it in a chat room with Americans, they chided me and suggested no one would use such a strange word.
In a Linguistics class we took last year, the Prof. gave us the phony word ‘smick’ to help us talk about some of the unconscious knowledge about language we all have. Emily and I still use that term sometimes. Smick means either a light smack or a kiss.
I picked up saying " in smit" from a friend in college. I believe it’s derived from smitten. For example, after a really good date, I’d say " I’m completely in smit." Also, one of my weirder sayings is “Screwed 'till Tuesday.” No idea where I got that from but it means things are going extremely badly.
Here’s one that andygirl will remember: “orivation.” It means any more or less lascivious internet gathering of underage lesbians and honorary lesbians.
(It comes from “orivate,” a typo for “private,” as in chat. I think it has great sound and sense compatibility.)
I say something is “funkatated” when it’s dirty or messed up. Usage: “Don’t hug me, I’ve just come from the gym and I’m all funkatated.” A friend made that up in the sixth grade, but I still thing it’s a great word. I also use “discombobulated,” but more to mean messy than dirty.
Are we allowed to submit things we wish we said? Because I’m trying to work the phrase “from Hell to breakfast” into my personal lexicon.
From a roommate’s mother, I picked up swearing like so: “Goddammitjesushchristsonofabitch!” when several things go wrong at once.
I’ve got a few that I thought were widespread, but have turned out to be endemic only to the college I went to:
When someone asks why you did something a boneheaded way or made a mistake: “That’s because I’m on crack.” (This phrase doesn’t go down as well in the office environment as it did in college, for some strange reason.)
People and things are “sketchy” - meaning suspicious or creepy.
I know this one was specific to my school, but when A does something ruthless or mean to B, B has been “throated.” It a bastardization of cutthroat.