I have two Facebook friends (old highschool buds) who have died within the past year and a half. Their pages remain semi-active. In one case people post things as if they have no idea she’s died (probably friend’s she made on farmtown or something). In the other case, his sister has posted (a year and a half after his death) that she is trying to memorialize his FB account but FB “isn’t being too cooperative”. Anyone else find it odd that the accounts stay open and active? Obviously the guy’s sister does since in her post she mentioned that comments would be welcome temporarily.
A close friend of my wife died two years ago. His roommate has kept his FB page active as a sort of shrine (unchanged other than status updates) and uses it to promote a college scholarship program founded in the dead guy’s name.
With his family’s blessing, I might add. Still, it’s really, really weird seeing him pop up in my friends list.
Yeah, I think it’s weird. Especially seeing his name and picture come up as a friend suggestion, although that hasn’t happened in a while.
When I die I want my wife to keep my account active, just to fuck with people.
I prefer this approach.
Facebook sucks ass in this situation.
My mom had a Facebook page; she died in February of this year. I filled out their little form letting them know so they could memorialize her page, and they didn’t do anything; no reply, nothing. I would fill out ANOTHER one but there’s no point - her online obituary, which they ask for on their form, is now archived and they’re certainly not going to shell out cash to see it. On the other hand, I don’t want to delete her account.
I don’t mind people posting on her Wall (I like seeing the memories they post) … but it bothers me when I see “Your Mom likes such and such.” I’m like no, she likED something, the only thing she’s liking these days is her new kickass digs in Heaven dammit.
This is the most awesome thing that could ever happen on FB, but still doesn’t make want an account though.
This topic reminds me of the time the Simpsons called up Vicent Price and got his voicemail. They couldn’t figure out if he was dead or alive.
My French teacher from high school died recently. It’s strange to still see her on my list of friends.
A very good friend (and ex-coworker) died this January. Her FB page and Linkedin accounts are still active. Her family posted a memorial video of her as the last post on her account. It’s pretty cool actually. Still, I wonder how long something like that should stay live? If it were a family member, I know I’d want it to stay active as a memorial for a good while, then archive it or preserve it in someway. Those are memories.
My daughter has my account information. I don’t want to be memorialized - I want to be shut down. My daughter can just log on as me and close it down. I have friends who have been memorialized, and while I am happy that is the best for their family, it’s not for me.
My friend’s husband died suddenly about a year ago; I was/am Facebook friends with both. She posted that she didn’t feel able to delete the page yet, because it was too emotionally wrenching. A few weeks ago, she posted that she was going to leave it up for one more month and then delete it, to give people a chance to take a last look and post goodbyes (which are, of course, messages of support to her). His death was a terrible shock and I think this represents a big step for her.
It’s not too different from giving away a loved one’s clothes or one of those other tasks that, while not significant in the big picture, can be really difficult to pull the switch. I am proud of my friend.
I’ve been a bit confused by one of these lately- yesterday I got invited to an ‘event’ (really a ‘hey, everyone do x silly thing on y day!’ group), which was apparently run by someone I never met, a friend of quite a few of my friends, who I know has been dead for almost a year. I can understand people keeping things he’d started going, and leaving the page up as a memorial, but starting new things and attributing them to a corpse just struck me as weird.
‘He’ keeps ‘adding friends’ too; I even had a look at his page, and there’s nothing at all mentioning the fact that the person featured here has been pushin’ up daisies for some time now, though someone is clearly updating it.
I’m know people like to keep memorial things fresh, to make sure the person is not forgotten, but this seems to have been really crossing the line; if I hadn’t been told by someone this person was deceased, it would have been quite easy to think there was a real live person still there, I find it a bit sad and a bit creepy really…
When my sister died in a car accident in 2009, we discovered she had kept her passwords in a binder in her desk, so we had access to her account. We left her Facebook page up for a while, mostly because we didn’t want to take the emotional step of deleting it, and then we realized that it was actually a nice way for people to “visit” her whenever they want to, so we’re leaving it up indefinitely. I pretty much run it now, to relieve the burden from my parents, although I don’t do much other than check it every week or so to see if anyone has posted anything.
Every now and then she’ll get friend requests from people who had no idea, but of course that thinned out over time. But I’m always careful to erase any “…is now friends with” posts so they don’t show up on other people’s pages. Basically the only activity now (other than people visiting her page to look at pictures when they’re missing her) is around her birthday, when people drop by to say kind words about wishing she were still here.
My fiance passed away in September of 2009. I filled out the form asking them to convert his page to a memorial page, they did not request any verification, but did send me a note saying that it would take a few days to verify the request, and sure enough a couple of days later it was converted to a page where people could post on his wall and share photos and whatnot, but he does not show up in birthday notices and things like that. It was a pretty easy process.
I just had this happen last week, and thought about making a similar thread. The first ever Facebook friend I had passing away.
A friend I know from our winter home in Florida died, and his brother used dead guy’s account to say that he died. It read something like
John SmithJohn died last night.
It kept coming up in my news feed for two days, and it was slightly creepy seeing it…
A friend’s fiancee passed away last year and she regularly adds friends; her fiance “runs” her page. He adds pictures of their child, which is nice, but as noted it is a bit jarring. This is the second friend on FB I’ve had who has died, and I really can’t say what I would do…I hesitate to criticize somebody for dealing with it however they can…but if it were my own page, I would want it up for awhile so that people could leave messages on it, and then within a year I would like it closed. I didn’t realize FB did memorial pages; that’s a good option also.
There’s just something wrong with “So and so is now friends with…” when So and So has been dead for over a year. They aren’t making any more friends. Ick.
My best friend comitted suicide in April. It was very unexpected and has decimated his family and friends.
As part of getting over my overwhelming sadness, I choose not to think of him and put him out of my mind if his memory creeps in. I get startled by his appearence on my friends list, but I guess it’s comforting to know that I can still log onto his page if I like. If I do, I am greeted with the goodbye that my wife posted they day after he died. It is the saddest thing that I’ve ever read, so I choose not to view his page.
I think the whole thing is pretty creepy, but I guess his page is comforting to some people!
I have one FB friend who is dead. People occasionally post memories on his wall, which is sweet.
Having a friend or relative actively update a dead person’s FB account, however, is weird and creepy.
I have a few FB friends that have passed in the past year but a friend’s teenage son was killed about ten months ago and that one just breaks my heart. His parents and friends are still leaving messages on the wall, almost on a daily basis. I don’t consider it creepy, just very, very sad.
It’s very awkward and I’m unhappy to hear that Facebook is not responsive to this kind of thing. My brother died at the end of October and his Facebook account is still active. People post to his wall sometimes and I like that. I probably do it more often than anybody else, in fact. What bothers me is seeing his user pic in the ‘More friends are waiting’ ads, and it bothers me when my mother logs in under his name to check his messages. That’s pretty upsetting. But at some point I think we should probably convert the account into a tribute page and it sounds like if we do that, Facebook will probably lose the request in the mail. That’s just great.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. As I said in post #13, I had no problem converting my fiance’s page to a memorial page. I would advise you to at least give it a shot.