This makes me really sad, not that it takes much to do that. I know that it’s a satire/opinion piece, but seeing it written out like that just sort bothers me more.
Is that a fact?
Yes, yes, the world is going to hell in a handbasket and has been since there have been lawns and old people.
And they were doing so well. So what does this mean for The Straight Dope? Business as usual? Or can we ignore the cry of “Cite?”?
Lets face it, facts have been dying off since God invented them 5600 years ago. Good riddance to them. They’ve done nothing but stand in the way of man’s greatest triumphs. Facts didn’t help the US put the first man in space. And facts never explained how the tides go in and the tides go out. Nobody has ever explained that one. But the last straw was the bizarre attempt by the factonazis to blame us for the problems we’ve caused. Pollution, global warming, nuclear proliferation, and terrorism are great opportunities that the extreme out of touch factist fringe has tried to sabotage with their incessant campaign of shouting ‘Not true’ and ‘That’s not a fact’ everytime a truly good idea to solve our problems without sacrifice is proposed. So I say again, good riddance facts. You’ve done nothing but bring harm and sorrow to the eternal self-correcting golden bounty God has given us to exploit.
Facts are not dead. They’re just resting and need to be awakened. All you need to do is state something loudly and often for it to become a fact, especially if you can do it on international television and all over the intrarwebz.
Don’t you people know anything?? sheesh.
This argument irritates me. Just because people have been saying that something is happening for a long time doesn’t mean that it’s not happening.
What’s particularly galling is the widespread media view that “balance” means giving equal coverage to facts and wackos who say the facts are complete boloney. In the modern world, everyone’s opinion is equally valid, even if it’s half-baked, misinformed, or simply flat-out pencils-up-the-nose bonkers.
I think this is great satire. I’m pleased with it.
It’s better to laugh than to cry.
..
[QUOTE=davidbyrne]
Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don’t do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Facts don’t stain the furniture
Facts go out and slam the door
Facts are written all over your face
Facts continue to change their shape
[/QUOTE]
“Thank you, Mr. NASA guy, for explaining the International Space Station. But now, for the sake of balance, we turn to Barry, who believes the sky is a carpet painted by God.” (Dara O’Briain)
For this reason, you get “balanced” coverage of vaccines and autism, with one side being the IOM, the CDC, the WHO, the FDA, and hundreds of scientists, and the other side being a washed-up Playboy bunny and semi-actress.
::::Shakes fist:::::
“Facts are stupid things.”
To quote the late great “Better Off Ted”:
“Those are just facts, and facts are just opinions, and opinions can be wrong.”
And what’s wrong can’t be right, and what can’t be right isn’t good, and what isn’t good, is not the truth, and what’s not the truth is a lie.
It once had been said
That Reason was dead
But Reason said “No,
I think not so!”
- Piet Hein
Does this mean that our slogan is now “Ignorance, er. something or other ?”
I blame Theory. Facts was doing just fine, until Theory came along. Look at gravity, for example - used to be a Fact, but now is just a Theory.
[QUOTE=blondebear]
.
Originally Posted by davidbyrne
Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don’t do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Facts don’t stain the furniture
Facts go out and slam the door
Facts are written all over your face
Facts continue to change their shape
[/QUOTE]
Same as it ever was :smack:
Same as it ever was :smack:
Same as it ever was :smack:
Facts have been replaced by what people want, as Colbert said to that moron dentist who used to be head of the Texas Board of Ed.
And it appears we have a presidential candidate who doesn’t mourn their passing.
Mitt’s friend run an ad claiming Obama said something that McCain actually said? Too bad.
He claimed that a factory closed during the Bush years was closed when Obama was president. Who cares?