This. It’s also the only good Christmas song.
Don’t forget “The Night Santa Went Crazy” by Weird Al; I always prefer the Extra Gory Version.
I don’t see any blackmail in that song, and at least with the best version, by Eartha, she is clearly telling his presents will get him a very nice reward- including at the end- marriage.
Not many of the old classics qualify. Now, there are many modern “novelty” songs which are indeed- nasty. But that was the point.
The OP specified they are less interested in parody songs, but Bob Rivers has several whole albums full of Christmas songs, some of which are great. Some of my favorites:
Sled Zeppelin (music is an amazingly accurate rendition of D’yer Mak’er)
O Little Town of Bethlehem (to the tune of House of the Rising Sun)
I’ll Be Stoned for Christmas
We Wish You Weren’t Living With Us
Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear
