Would someone please explain why the fuck I have to give up MY Thanksgiving vacation to drive a thousand miles to be with relatives I would rather not see again in my life? I’m a college student! I’ve busted my ass working on a degree in physics and I AM EXHAUSTED!
I don’t want to spend four days on the road and three days with my dysfunctional relatives out in the middle of nowhere! I don’t give a damn if it’s expected of me! It’s my goddamn week off. I don’t want to spend it with my alcoholic aunt and her psycho husband, their two bratty kids, my backstabbing bitch of a grandmother and my 41-year-old spinster aunt who’s never had a date in her life! I don’t want to listen to the arguments, I don’t want to endure my grandmother’s subtle manipulations and I don’t want to even see my bastard uncle because I swear I’ll bash his fucking teeth in! The asshole took a baseball bat to my aunt once in a drunken rage and she’s still with him. Unbelievable.
I’m not going and I don’t give a damn if my parents cut off my tuition money-- I’ll fucking get a job and pay my own way. I’m not giving up my time for this.
. . . Okay, I’m sorry, but I had to vent and this place just happened to be nearby. Now I need to find some Rolaids. My stomach hurts.
And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.