At lunch today, one of my co-workers used an expression saying “My mom says that all the time,” and I realized my parents don’t have any “catch phrases,” if you will. So I’m curious, what are some of your parents’/family phrases?
My friend’s mom’s was “Breaking in the new mouth?” in reference to the fact that another co-worker just took a bite of his taco, yet somehow managed to miss his mouth and dribble food everywhere.
Another friend’s father liked to use the phrase “You’re doing everything bass akwards.”
My dad’s could be “Jesus Fucking Christ,” but that’s more an exclamation than a whitty remark, but he uses it so often, I guess it could count.
There is a delightful book entitled Family Words, which features words and phrases used wityhin families. Unfortunately, I can’t recall the author, and the search function on amazon.com turns up a lot of irrelevant stuff. It has a lot of the kind of thing you describe, although it concentrates on odd words, rather than on phrases.
Found it – it’s Paul Dickson’s book:
He also has a site at www.familywords.com
Besides the Italian expressions:
“Go pound sand”
“Go play in traffic”
“Go scratch your ass”
“Go $hit in your hat”
My Grandma used to say, “if ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts we would all have a Merry Christmas”
I think that sounds cool!
When I was a kid, my dad used to scream “God dammit the fuck anyway!” when he got irate. I would laugh at him because it sounds so absurd. But as we are all inclined to inherit our parents’ flaws, I later found myself saying it when I got older. That’s probably because I spent too much time thinking about it and just burned it into my brain.
My brother would use the phrase “that’s about ignert” [my misspelling, but that’s how he pronounced it] for things that he thought were stupid. I always thought that phrase was stupid.
My grandfather occasasionly used the phrases “well that won’t wash the honey off the bear” and " ain’t no sense in darnin’ the sock when the shoes got a hole in it."
My father used to drive us mad as kids. If he ever caught us arguing he would recite:
Birds in their little nest agree
and it is a painful sight
to see children of one family
fall out and chide and fight
Mind you we would stop arguing just so he wouldn’t repeat it.
The only current “family” word in use for my family is “Fuffua” (pronouced fuff- ew-a). My mother, brother, step-father and maybe more of my family (I wasn’t there) were playing Yahtzee and my brother got a full house and proudly yelled Fuffua!! My family broke down laughing and the word has stuck aroud for 20 years now. My brother has no idea why he said it or where it came from.
(He almost as embarrassed about that as he is about the time we were driving through Delaware and after looking at a highway sign, asked if we could go see the white cliffs :D)
You could walk into my house with severe head trauma and one limb hanging by a tendon & my Dad would inform you that [i/“he’s had worse cuts than that on his left eyeball.”*
*Ok, so you probably wouldn’t “walk” anywhere with severe head trauma but you get my drift…
When my mom would get on to us she would shout, “I’m gonna knock you nekkid!” The visual alone was enough to stop us in our tracks.
My grandparents, when someone would walk by without saying anything or fail to say thank you: She didn’t say hello, thank, kiss my ass, nothing.
My friend’s dad: Well, it’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
Roommate’s mom, when someone wants something: You’re old enough for your wants not to kill you.
“Damn milkman”
A reference to the way we always teased one of my older brothers about being the milkman’s kid - he’s the only blonde one out of the four of us (for the record, his facial structure and baby pictures prove that we all have the same dad). Said whenever he says something odd/ditzy/etc.
Oh Dear God. I come from THEEEE Family O Family Expressions.
One of my best friends was forbidden to come to my house for several years, after an incident in grade school…
My dad was either sick, or hungover, and had just woken up when my friend, summoning all her 2nd grade etiquette, politely inquired as to how my father was doing.
He told her he felt “like a Friday fart on a Saturday morning.”
She told her parents.
She didn’t come back until we were in high school.
I’m not even sure what that expression means, except that it has a definition comparable to feeling “like shit in the middle of a muddy road” (also a family expression).
Someone’s not lookin’ so good (bad hair day, mismatched clothing, or some similar beauty-sapping issue)? We say that they look “like Teedy before Toady died.” 
Have diarrhea? In our house you’ve got “the bluies”.
We even have a little family game whereby if you fart and someone detects it (aurally or nasally), you have to whistle and knock on wood before they catch you, or they can beat the crap out of you.
We call it “Flootie”. Fun for the whole family. 
More as I think of them.
My old man called my goofy brother a “hammer-headed unscrewed bird’s eye” once many a moon ago, and it’s so goddamn funny, we all remember it to this day.
more to come…
As far as I can recall, my dad made up the term we used for the person whose job it was to wash the dishes that night: “stepdog.” (The work itself was “stepdogging”)
I have no idea what made him think of that…
My mom birthed seven kids in ten years, thereby assuring that both my mom and dad had no time to themselves for several years. Hence my dad’s expression at the end of a workday while he and my mom were enjoying several well deserved martinis,
“It’s the only way we can stand you little bastards.”
My mom birthed seven kids in ten years, thereby assuring that both my mom and dad had no time to themselves for several years. Hence my dad’s expression at the end of a workday while he and my mom were enjoying several well deserved martinis,
“It’s the only way we can stand you little bastards.”
After a big meal, my brother or I were likely to push in gently on the tummy and announce, “No squish!” Nobody seems to remember which one of us originated it.
Sorry about the double post. I have absolutely no idea how that happened.
“As long as you are living under our roof, you’ll go by our rules.”
Usually in response to us kids whining about something we didn’t like.
If my mother witnessed one of us getting injured it was always either “God love your little heart” or “Ooh, that musta hurt”. If it was a serious injury she might say both.
Twice when I told her about failed romances she replied “Eat some soup, you’ll feel better”.
When a car doesn’t clear an intersection quickly my sister yells “shoota bulla”. Never understood that one.