Famous family expressions

In My Humble Opinion
41

When we asked what was for dinner:

“Barf warts and biffles and stinkily stiffles”

When something was bad/annoying/smelly:

“Feh”. This came from a really saccharin kid’s video produced by a company with the initials FHE, and my dad said FEH! one time as he walked through the room.

When somebody did something klutzy/silly or when a Murphy’s Law moment occurred:

“That’s real George”

This was from a family ancestor, my dad’s great uncle George. His behavior was so odd and he had so many unfortunate accidents that his name became synonymous with such situations in my grandfather’s family. My dad did a geneology search once and found his 2nd cousin, grandson to Real George. Turns out they had the same saying in the cousin’s family!

Of course, “That’s real George” morphed into “That’s so George, it’s Fred”, but that’s another story entirely.

42

Sounds exactly like my dad. If my brother and I were downstairs watching TV, and my dad would come downstairs, he’d do the same thing, so 12:30am was 1am to him. Still is, my brother still gets it…

When I was little, and I’d get “rowdy”, my dad would always tell me “I’ll throw you to the hyenas”. Hmm… seeing as we live in suburban England was a bit of an empty threat.

43

Ahh… just remembered another one…

Me (Getting ready to go out): Mum… what shall I wear?
Mum: Clothes

We must have gone through this routine every single week since I was about the age of 12 :rolleyes:

44

My mom says this too.

My dad says all sorts of weird stuff. For instance, before he goes anywhere, he proclaims “I’m off like a dirty shirt.” And his favorite threat used to be “I’m going to slap the dog out of you,” though I haven’t heard this one for some years.

He also has a tendency to use our old baby-talk pronunciations of random household objects, but that’s another story…

45

My mother’s threat “Do that and you’re gonna hear about it.”

When you drag out anything needlessly, or take forever to find a place: “Did we have to go all the way around Robin Hood’s barn?”

When you made a real effort and couldn’t do it: “Well, you tried seven ways to Sunday.”

My favorite was “shaker cheese.” I was in my 20’s before I heard the word “Parmesan.”

46

How about at the dinner table:

Me or my sister: “What’s for dessert?”

Mom: “Dessert the table!”

As a child, it took me several years to understand what she meant ( no dessert )

47

Okay, I have to confess to one I use on my kids.

Kid: Can I have (whatever it is they want at the given moment)
Me: No.
Kid: Please, please <shameless begging and pleading>
Me: I said no, I didn’t say keep asking me till I want to snap your little head off your neck.

Isn’t that sweet–don’t worry, I’m already saving up for the therapy they’ll be needing later.

48

Okay, I have to confess to one I use on my kids.

Kid: Can I have (whatever it is they want at the given moment)
Me: No.
Kid: Please, please <shameless begging and pleading>
Me: I said no, I didn’t say keep asking me till I want to snap your little head off your neck.

Isn’t that sweet–don’t worry, I’m already saving up for the therapy they’ll be needing later.

49

My Dad used this Eritrean proverb whenever he would want us to work, but we were too tried/lazy/sleepy. It was: “Young boys don’t sleep!”.

Mann… I hated that saying.

50

My mom does the same thing, and my sibs and I are very wise to it. For instance, if she wants to wake my isbs in the morning, she’ll say that it’s anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour after the actaul time. “Guys, wake up! It’s almost 8:30!” One look at the clock will reveal that it is, instead, maybe 8:10 or so.

Her rationale for doing this is that we are extremely slow in the morning (who wouldn’t be?), and in my brother’s case, extremely late for things. Maybe so, but we DO know what time it really is.

She’ll do this all the time: “It’s almost 11:30, so you better go to bed.” (of course we don’t, 11:30 being early for us) Mom, we have a clock right next to us in the computer room that says it is only 11:05, not to mention the computer clock.

Weird expressions? Unfortunately, my family has a whole bunch of them… thanks in some part to a weird “language” my mom made up, and my sister goes along with. (my sister didn’t go along with it until she and my mom went to Hong Kong and China a few years ago) Some of it is also due to some inside jokes that originated a couple years ago on a road trip we took to San Francisco.

“to bomb” means to do #2 (stemming from an incident involving the bathroom on the USS Hornet; don’t ask)

molixed, molly: another name for our mother, as opposed to “Mom” or something similar; or any mother in general

blaard, blaardine: another name for our father, as opposed to “Dad” or something similar

Sarne: their nickname for me (I dont’ recall how they came up with it, except that it came from several other nicknames)

Flims, Flaimels (approximate phonetic pronunciation): our name for my brother (he used to be known as “Jonas”, possibly after that Weezer song “My Name is Jonas”)

bainix, baineef, baineefdix: my sister’s name for herself, derived from the fact that she’s the baby of the family; or it could refer to any baby that we see

“farting around…” means the same thing as hanging out or chilling

More to come later, I’m sure…

51

My mother, in response to any stated or implied criticism of her conduct by my siblings or I, was to sigh, and say: “How sharper than a serpents tooth, to have a thankless child.”

By the time my youngest brother reached the age of question, and began bringing up his own opinions on Mother, he would be reminded by my sisters, “The snakes are gonna get you!”

The standard response to the question by anyone “Did I tell you about. . .” was “Will you stop, if you have?” I don’t even know who said it first in the family.

Tris

52

Just remembered another Dad-ism:

If anyone burped, he’d say, “Bring it up again and we’ll vote on it!”

The old man had a million of 'em. Still does.

53

From my dad:

“Worthless as tits on a boar-hog”

"Kid Lightnin’ " (usually when my brother demonstrated his inability to outrun an arthritic turtle)

“He could trip over smoke.” (usually when I demonstrated my ability to, well, trip over smoke)

“We ought to get bulk rate on stitches.” (in response to an injury–picked up from the family doc after I tripped over smoke in a stitches-requiring way two days running)

“Possum up a sweet-gum bush, raccoon on the ground” (part of an old folksong, usually referring to a standoff–or teasing the rest of us with his horrible singing)

“Not enough room to cuss a cat without getting fur in your mouth”

“Slow cars, fast women, and watermelon wine” (things to avoid, judging by the context)

“Always piss off the back of the houseboat” (he lived on one as a kid, and they drew their water from upstream–the front of the boat)

Quotes from the Heinlein’s “Notebooks of Lazarus Long” were also common in our household, what with three rabid SF fans in residence.

54

My great-grandmother was known for one quote only:
“Men are dogs…they’re ALL DOGS!”

My dad:
“She has legs like a butcher’s table.”

My DH:
“All I did was hit F10…”

My mom (as we had just done something incredibly dumb):
“Shake your head and make sure that it’s still attached.”
“Use your head for something other than a hatrack.”

55

Actually, the first part of this is more like “Very good”

Very bad would be “Ochen plokha”. Or something like that.

They got their French right, though!

56

I suppose all families have their own strange sayings. Some of ours were:

My mom used to answer “Shit on a stick” to the question What’s for dinner. She also used to say that something was “better than a kick in the crotch with a frozen mukluk (sp?)” a variant on “a poke in the eye with a sharp stick”.

My dad would often use “Holy honking horseshit” as an exclamation.

My brother used to blame his farts on the “barking spiders”. Not sure where that one came from…

57

“Sunflower seed moment”.

My brother came home from college one summer, and thought it’d be nice to plant some sunflowers in the yard (considering that it was sunny and all). He tromped down to the store, looked at all the different varieties of sunflowers, bought a package of the kind he liked and brought 'em home to plant.

I was in the front yard with my sweetie, when my brother came blazing out the front door exclaiming
"They’re sunflower seeds!!!.

We both looked at him and said “Well yeah, what’d’ja expect?”

To which he replied “No, no! They’re the kind you eat!”

“Yes, they are” we say.

To this day whenever someone in the family makes a signifigant correlation, it is referred to as a “Sunflower seed moment”.