You ask me to help you? Man is evil! Capable of nothing but destruction!
“No more words.” - Jim Morrison
“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done: it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.”-Sidney Carton
“Mr. President, you can’t say that Dallas doesn’t love you” - Jackie Kennedy.
“That’s obvious.” - John F. Kennedy.
I’m feeling OK NoClueBoy. I get tired easily though. And until one has an incision in one’s torso you don’t really know how gravity works on your internal organs. Now I feel my muscle structure sag when I get up from the recliner. The staples came out yesterday.
Here endeth the hijack.
In (maybe)1969, I was about to pledge to a fraternity. The frat had a rush party, BYOB. I had a conversation with the only brother I really knew. He talked, oddly enough, of last words of guys he had known. He told me of a deer hunter who told him, “Don’t get yourself killed.” just before dying in a hunting accident.
Vince apparently stole another brother’s Corvette upon leaving the party. His collision with a 2nd shift bartender at the edge of the college campus killed them both.
Ah, lemme think. Yeah, it was Karen Allen as Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark, right?
Where are we going? And why am I in a handbasket?
“C’mon, trains weigh a ton. How fast can it be going?”
“Look! No hands!”
“The Mods are all a bunch of…” (moniter suddenly goes blank)
“I told you I wasn’t well”: Spike Milligan (and inscribed on his gravestone. Respect! 
)
“Frankly, I’d rather be in Philidelphia”: WC Fields on death bed in response to question, “So, how are you feeling?” (and having been consistently rude about the State for the whole of his life)
Go ahead, I think I saw the light turn green.
What’s that noise?
I just won the lottery!
Actually, I heard the line (or variations thereof) spoken several times when I was travelling in Europe. Usually by some drunk student being expelled from a premesis for disorderly behavior, or an outraged tourist having his camera confiscated after snapping flash photos despite the multi-lingual warning signs.
It was usually uttered with the confindent tone of “I’ll call the consulate and they’ll come kick your ass!”
I always imagined some idiot being mugged by gypsies at knifepoint saying the same thing to the amusement of all.
“Moose…Indian…”
And you know, this thread makes me hungry for French Canadian bean soup.
“what is your major malfunction soldier? put that gun down right now!!”
“Hey, y’all, watch this!” - Unkown numbers of unknown rednecks
“Not yet” - Baron Munchausen
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Honey, my life insurance is all set up now!
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Crickey! That’s a beaut! Very very venimous… And I’ll approach it slowly… get her by her tail… and…
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Did you put shrimps or crab or any crustaceans in this sauce?
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OK, I’ll go first. [double entendre?]
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[in Boston this morning] Honey, I’m walking the dog… what?.. No, I don’t need a jacket, It can’t be that cold!
“Uh oh!”
- Michael J. Smith, Pilot, Space Shuttle Challenger, 1986
My kid has been asking me for a rifle for so long that I finally got him one. Hey, it’s only a .22 and what trouble could you possibly get into with that?
and that “moose… Indian” quote. Henry David Thoreau wasn’t it?
**Bugger Bognor ** — King George V when told he could go to this sea-side resort to convalesce
Highjack re the Bognor stroy. I was told the full story was that the King was actually in his carriage leaving Bognor, having already recuperated in it’s bracing air (you know a place is crap when the best thing they can think of is the air), when one of his stewards approached him with the news;
“You Highness, the major has humbly requested whether the town might have the honour of appending Regis to the name in commemoration of your Majesty’s recovery?”
King, “Bugger Bognor! Drive on!”
Steward returns to Mayor with an approximation of the exchange that had just taken place, “His Majesty is graciously pleased to grant your request.”
Such is diplomacy…