Famous Last Words

Hey guys, watch this!

Look, it’s this simple to fix.

You dare me to do this?

…and then we add a drop of Chemical X and… whoops!

Oh sure, this car can jump that far. Lemme back up.

Yes, you do look fat in that dress.

Charge!

Hold my beer and hang on.

Don’t bother with an ambulance, I know how to suck the poison out of rattlesnake bites.

No, the gun is not loaded. Watch!

Lemme guess. You rob stores because you’re too ugly to get a real job, right?

See, look. It’s perfectly safe.

Ahh, Italian, Sicilian – same damned thing.

I do. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:

[li]There’s no WAY this safety guard could come off.[/li]
[li]I’m certain that snake’s not poisonous.[/li]
[li]They won’t fire me.[/li]
[li]I’ve done this a million times.[/li]
[li]They only put that warning on there because their lawyers make them.[/li]
The water’s not THAT deep.

Is it dead or sleeping? Poke it with a stick.

What do you mean a ground wire?

Rain’s a comin’… better get under that tree.

See them branches rustlin? Shoot right there!

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist

“Aryan Brotherhood”? What, that some kinda homo group or sumpthin’?

I don’t care who her father is, I’m gonna go hit on her!

Nawww, they’re all duds.

No way, I know an undercover cop when I see one!

So, it’s still a little red in the middle…it’ll still taste just fine.

Another tequila shot? Allright!! Make mine a double!

“God damn the whole friggin’ world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta.” - Fields, W.C. (1880-1946)

“It is nothing. It is nothing.” - Franz Ferdinand, Archduke (1863-1914)

“Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.” - Nostradamus (Michel de Notre Dame) 1503-1566

I’m not sure why these struck me as funny. I found them here. I was looking for the one jjimm quoted. But these will do.

“What does this button do?”

“What duck?”

“Nice doggie.”

There’s no way it could reach through the bars.
I can’t see. Anybody got a match?
It’s not deep at all.
Do we need this part?

Told ya I was sick…

– Maj. Gen. John Sedgewick, shot by a Confederate sniper while chastising his men for taking cover from the sniper’s fire at the battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.

Heh. My uncle would just be the guy to do you in for this one.

“You ain’t got the balls!”

(said to the guy pointing a shotgun at decedent’s mid-section)

“Ah, it’s just a Texas state trooper. We can out-run him!”

Who will ever know?

I promise not to cum in your mouth…

Either that wallpaper goes or I do!

"Which one of these is the third rail?