Here is a game friends and I used to play. Since I’ve moved to Denmark I haven’t been able to get anyone to play…so now maybe you’ll be the victims and the Danes won’t look at me like I’m (as) crazy.
Basically just list last words like:
-wiggidy
These are all almost real ones for my ignorant friends in grade school.
“How much gunpowder will it hold?”
“What does the little red light mean?”
“Hey look! A dog! Here boy…”
“My dad keeps his really sharp knives up here…”
Luckily none of them were killed.
The sad thing is this almost is a real one for me,
“I wonder if it’s plugged in…”
Fortunately, only a severe electric shock ensued.
Vanna White;
“Z”
“Just hand me a lighter so I can see how much fuel is left in the tank.”
“I promise I’ll get the brakes looked at after we drive down the mountain.”
“Why spend money for a new ladder? I just won’t step on that rung.”
“Nah, coral snakes have a red nose, or maybe a black one. Lemme take a closer look.”
“Electricians are just out to rip you off; you and I can rewire the house in a weekend.”
“Yeah, I could hire a professional, but I can trim the top branches myself for nothin’.”
“I’ve been rock-climbing for years, I can tie knots in my sleep.”
“Nah, sharks only attack if you hit 'em on the nose like this.” :BAM:
“I fixed the engine, and hey, only a couple of parts left over.”
“Aaawww, look at the cute little bears, let’s feed them the rest of my sandwich . . .” :rolleyes:
“Well, you could stand to lose a couple pounds . . .”
“And if I am wrong, then may God strike me dead.”
‘Hey y’all, watch this!’
sniff I think one of these gas pipes is leaking. Anyone got a match?
Do me a favor and grab onto my shirt while I lean way over to take a picture from the top of this waterfall…
It’s ok. I trust the new guy who packed my parachute.
Hey, I found this old World War II shell buried in the sand. Let’s open it!
If I pee off the subway platform, how much you wanna bet I can hit the third rail?
“Hey, Mike Tyson, you’re a big sissy faggot!”
its only a couple of amps. My dad replaces them with out killing the power all the time.
I don’t think dynamite goes bad…
“Look–no hands!”
“Of course my mom will understand…she knew I’d have sex eventually, right?”
“What do you mean ‘late’? Late for what?”
…if that one didn’t do it, try this one:
“Oh! Who’s the father?”
“Trains are slow–I can make it easily!”
“A girl that small–how possessed could she be?”
“Those voodoo guys walk on fire all the time.”
“No I’m not giving you my wallet, I just took my life savings outta the bank to buy a…”
“These little brown mushrooms are okay, though, right?”
“Sushi is perfectly safe if prepared correctly.”
“But you said TABLESPOONS–not teaspoons!”
“But I thought E-coli was that germ Stephen King made up for ‘The Stand’.”
“Falcon, are you stupid or something–the Redskins are suck this year, their offense is sloppy and their defense is full of lazy, wuzzies.”
::Ahem:: “wussies”
Ofcourse I’m careful. I ALWAYS take the bullets out when I clean my gun …
“Relax, Lieutenant, the enemy couldn’t possibly hit us at this -!”
“Crosswalks are for pussies.”
“I don’t care how many friends you got with you, I say Harleys are pieces of shit!”
“So this is Bogata, huh?”
If said in Manchester England - “Go Chelsea!”
If said circa 1963 - “Yeah, I know Lee Harvey.”
“Oops”
“What’s that?”
“I thought you said it wasn’t poisonious.”
“We’ve got an engine left, don’t worry.”
“Hey, I can make it across the tracks in time!”
Said in Oval Office:
“No one will ever find out…”
“Don’t worry, technically it’s not really sex…”
Real, true, hilarious last words:
“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–”
–Gen John Sedgewick at the Battle of Spotsylvaina in the American Civil War. He was trying to encourage his cowering troops, but his statement was cut short by a sniper’s bullet entering his brain
If that’s not irony, I don’t know what is.
“We could, but it would be wrong.”
“Oh, bullshit. You’re not going to shoot me. You’re too fucking scared.”
“Nothing’s gonna happen. Hastur, Hastur, Hast.*…”