“I offer you the Superman.”–Clark Kent
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”–Jerry Springer
“Thank heaven for little girls.”–Virginia McMartin
“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”–Mao Tse-Tung
“I am not a crook.”–Willie Sutton
“And that’s the way it is.”–Franz Kafka
Post here actual famous quotes, but attrivute them to the lest likely person to have made them. 
“I will balance the Federal budget.” - Ronald Reagan (I know that one will precipitate another round of anti-Gore Gore quotes, but those are pretty much a force of nature anyway.)
Hopefully, I can convince you to accept “hopefully” as a disjunct adverb.
Frankly, I would be lying if I said I were confident.
Perhaps this subject is simply too complex for me to explain.
Unfortunately, I would be lucky to explain my way out of a paper bag.
Bigamy is one wife too many. Polygamy is the same.
Some Mormon.
How about Joseph Smith, Wally? Isn’t that the name of their founder?
I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!
I couldn’t think of his name. Thanks, Cess. 
I’m sure Brigham Young would also suit nicely.
“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making some other poor bastard die for his country.” Fred Rodgers (for best effect, imagine it in his perky little voice)
I did not have sex with that woman
Hillary Clinton
“God is dead.” - Martin Luthor
“Never give a sucker an even break.” - Mr. Roger’s
"I’ll moider da bum. "
William Shakespeare , when asked what he thought of Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento
“Clatu, Verrata…nector?..neck-tie?”
“If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.”–Gloria Steinam
“A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!” - Elmer, of Elmer’s Glue
Sala, can’t you count?!? I said NO camels! That’s FIVE camels!
“I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.” – Kitty Genovese
“It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.” - Kenneth Starr
Sig! Sig a Sog! Sig it loud! Sig it Strog! – Karen Carpenter with a head cold
“What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar.”–C. Everett Koop
“I think, therefore I am.”–George W. Bush, Jr.
“You like me! You really like me!”–A. Hitler.
“I’m a Superfreak; the kind you don’t bring home to mutha!”–Al Gore
“Hope I die before I get old.”–the Queen Mum
“What’s good for General Motors is good for the USA” Michael Moore
“WAZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!” Miss Manners
“I love everybody. So what if they don’t belong to my religion and believe something completely different. They are still God’s children.” 90% of all Christians.
“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” – Jeffrey Dahmer
Game over. Otto Wins.