Many of mine have already been mentioned. Usually any of them involving cows (preferably in hair rollers) is good.
One of my favourites is the two gorillas lounging about at the bottom of a tree. One says, “Y’know Hank, I really like bananas. Heck we all do, but for me it goes much more beyond that.”
And the bored long-haul flight crew sitting there staring through the windscreen. In the second frame, you see the pilot getting an idea. Third frame: “Ladies and gerntlemen, we’re coming up to a little turbulence”… Fourth frame: pilot is jerking the yoke all over the place. Fifth frame: “Our apologies for the bumpy ride back there, folks…” Fifth frame: both pilot and co-pilot are in doubled-over thigh-slapping hysterics. Sixth Frame: “Aaaah, ladies and gentlemen, we’re just coming into a little more turbulence…”
Another aeroplane classic was the guy settling into his seat and looking at the little control panel on the armrest: Reading light, call attendant, audio channel, volume, wings stay on/wings fall off…
The one on the wall by my desk shows a group of cows studying a butcher’s chart labeled “Farmer Bob.” All the cuts (sirloin, chops, etc.) are marked, with the head marked “Throw Away.” Farmer Bob has just entered the barn and caught the cows red-handed. They all freeze…
The caption reads: “Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked…”
The panel is divided up into four squares. In the first one, a bunch of ducks are standing around, quacking. One of them yells out “Chicken!”, and they all duck as a chicken goes flying overhead, then resume standing around and quacking. The caption goes: “So, do you have trouble of thinking of new ideas?” the interviewer asked. “Well, sometimes” the cartoonist replied.
My favorite visual gag is a giant chalk outline of king kong in the street, with dozens of tiny human chalk outlines inside.
Ah, the Midvale School for the Gifted…one of the best.
Two bears sitting in the rusted out hulk of an abandoned car out in the woods somewhere…
“Think about it Murray…If we could get this baby runnin’, we could run over hikers, pick up females, chase down mule deer–man, we’d be the grizzlies from hell.”
Bedtime for the grizzly kids. Poppa Bear is entertaining his younguns with his human skull puppet show (the skulls are wearing hunter’s caps): Okay, just one more time, then it’s off to bed. “Say, Bob, do you reckon there’s any bears in this old cave?”
Two saber-toothed tigers feeding: You know I’ve had a lot of these and they’ve made all kinds of noises, but I never heard one go “Yabba-dabba-doo” before.
Two polar bears have broken into the top of an igloo: These are great! Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!
Two birds, perched on the edge of a pram: It’s just the darndest thing. I’ve been stuffing worms into it all day, and it’s still hungry!
Two circus bears riding a tricycle around the ring: “Looks like a trap,” I said. "No, you said. “Nobody would set a trap way out here in the woods,” you said.
“And notice, gentlemen, the faster I go, the more Simmons sounds like a motorboat.”
The devil’s news station in hell, with attendant crowd of damned: “Now for the weather. It looks like the cold front I told you about yesterday is just baaaaaaaarely going to miss us.”
Two cavemen standing inside their box-and-stick trap, with a saber-tooth-tiger approaching. “Shh, Zog, here come one now!”
Three bedraggled people in the middle of a desert, standing by the drinking fountain. “Now just hold your horses, everyone. Let’s just let it run for a minute and see if it gets any colder.”
And although I can’t remember the precise caption, it’s two stranded men on a desert island, one with a printing press, who is handing a fresh newspaper to the other whose headline reads NED IS A WHINER.
[ul]
[li]Two deer standing in the woods. One has red concentric rings on his chest. The other one says, “Bummer of a birthmark, Hal.”[/li][li]No words, just two bears in a hunter’s crosshairs. One is standing “sneakily” behind the other, pointing his finger at the unseeing bear, indicating the hunter should choose that one.[/li][li]A “parklike” panel is divided diagonally with a row of trees. On one side of the trees is a banner reading “Teacup Poodle Fanciers Picnic” & the other side has a banner reading "Falconer’s Monthly Meeting (or something similar.) The caption reads, “Trouble Brewing” (IIRC).[/li][/ul]
Oh, and the best ones were the errors & non-published ones from Prehistory.
Two spiders have stretched a web across the bottom of a children’s slide. “If this works, we’ll eat like kings.”
Also, I haven’t seen this one in a long time, but it’s something like this: An ordinary bespectacled guy is competing against God in a game show. The score is something like 23,457 to 0. Cracks me up just thinking about it. (If anyone has a link to that one, I’d love to print it out.)
Detective in a drawing-room mystery confronts the household staff, one of whom is a suspicious-looking elephant in an overcoat. “And the murderer is… the butler! Yes, the butler. Who, I’m convinced, first gored the Colonel to death before trampling him to smithereens.”
I used to have a poster of that one. (Quoting from memory) “That’s another 150 points for God, and—uh oh, looks like Norman, our current champion, hasn’t even scored yet.”
Similar one: they’re standing around in Hell, at the coffee pot, and one is spitting out the coffee and saying! “Good God! They thought of everything…the coffee’s cold.”
Or the N. American holding up a strange looking thingie in front of his tribe and saying, “Take a good, long look at this. We don’t know what it is, but it’s the only part of the buffalo we don’t use.”
Or how about: N. American, standing in front of his tribe and holding up a bead necklace. He says, “I have some news - but first, take a look at this! Isn’t it a beaut?”
The two spiders. One has a looooooong string of silk coming out of his spinnerets and pooling on the ground. The other has a paper bag mask on, saying “Boy, I really got you that time!”
What we say to dogs: Bad Fido! How many times have I told you not to roll around in the mud?! Bad dog! No treats for you Fido, until you’ve learned to behave!
Cracks me up just thinking about it. (If anyone has a link to that one, I’d love to print it out.)