Fast food joints make the best burgers

Cafe Society
1

I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest for awhile. I see a lot of references - around here and elsewhere - to fast food burgers being imitators, substitutes for the “real things”, inferior creations, etc. I’m here to set the record straight. I’ve made and eaten hundreds of home-cooked burgers in my life, from backyard bbqs to experiments in my own kitchen to ones prepared by legitimately trained and experienced chefs. I’ve eaten burgers at sit-down restaurants famous for their burgers and at fancy steakhouses with valet parking and dress codes. Fast food retaurants make the best burgers.

It’s funny, coming from me, because I wish it weren’t true. I don’t particularly like the idea of fast food and it eat it less and less frequently every year. I’m merely reporting objective fact.

So, without further ado, I give you the 5 best burgers on Earth:

NUMBER 5 - The Fatburger

This one gets a nod not necessarily for being a particularly great burger, but for being able to order with damn near every reasonable topping in the free world, including one of my personal favorites - an egg.

NUMBER 4 - Wendy’s Double

Something about the produce on this one really gives it a zing and a crunch that you don’t often find - especially not with the leaf lettuce you normally get on “good” burgers. In all fairness, though, I can’t help but notice that it frequently leads to some pretty intense stomach problems. Occasionally, it’s worth it.

NUMBER 3 - The Whopper with cheese

Over the last few years they seem to have taken to putting way too much mayonaise on it, but it is a generally good, unique burger. The toppings almost taste like a little salad when you get to the middle.

NUMBER 2 - The Double-Double from In-N-Out

Now we’re getting into exceedingly blissful territory. I deliberately deprive myself of these so that on the occasions that I indulge myself, they’re that much better. It’s a greasy, texturey little bomb of flavor. I have In-N-Outs all around me now, but eating these still reminds me of when I was a kid and I only got them while visiting my grandparents in California.

NUMBER 1 - The Big Mac

And the winna is . . . how could it be anything else? Rumor has it this thing is scientifically proportioned to put you into some kind of taste-induced ecstasy. I’m only a little ashamed to admit that I even like the taste of my burps after eating one. If I could only ever order one thing at any restaurant for the rest of my life, this would be it, without thought, hestitation, or question.

2

I totally grok your main point. :wink:

I would, however, take a slightly different tack: I consider a Big Mac its own separate food/burger group.

  • when I want a “burger” - I don’t necessarily want a Big Mac.
  • when I want a Big Mac - I don’t want another kind of burger.

They are so fully-processed and self-contained, they establish their own food territory.

I feel the same way about Oreos - when I want an Oreo, that doesn’t necessarily mean I want a cookie…

3

I sort of agree with you but the Whopper is a HORRIBLE burger.

4

I kind of agree since the “large sit down joint” burgers are usually too large and the buns too large making them kind of tasteless. i.e. Hard Rock Cafe, TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesdays, etc.
But neither of them have anything on a good bar/pub burger.
The juicy lucy at The Nook in St.Paul or 5-8 Tavern in Minneapolis are to die for.

5

I didn’t want to get too into why the “good” burgers are inferior, but that is definitely one of the reasons. The last few times I’ve eaten an expensive burger, I’ve ended up with a big pile of discarded bun chunks on my plate when I was finished.

6

This. Fast-food burgers are a food group unto themselves. And damn you for making me want a Big Mac right now!

7

Especially at hangover time. A good cheeseburger with Niman Ranch beef and sharp cheddar is good, but the night after a party, only a couple of McDoubles is going to do the trick.

BTW, burger fiends may heartily enjoy this blog.

8

I agree that fast food burgers always seem to beat home-made ones… I have never been able to produce a burger at home that compared to the greasy fast food concoctions. I suspect it’s the lack of a huge steel griddle in my home…

9

I agree that those 3/4 pound mega burgers at sit-down restaurants and pubs are too big and bland, but I must vehemently disagree that the burgers you list are superior to a homemade one. Depends on who’s home you’re talking about, I reckon. The fast food burgers are OK for the most part, and I agree they’re really sort of in a class by themselves.

But the fast food places use inferior ingredients and the burgers are prepared by indifferent wage slaves, and that comes through in the taste, unless you’re drunk, which gives you the tastebud version of beer goggles, anyway.

10

Bar burgers are the best. They are just trying to get you to drink ,so they give you a better burger at a cheaper price.

11

Well, the best burgers I’ve ever had were made at the Four Seasons hotel, here in Austin.

Problem with that is, it costs as much to get a burger lunch at the Four Seasons as it does to get a full dinner for two at most standard family restaurants.

12

The Big Mac is pretty pedestrian as burgers go, not that I don’t enjoy eating one now and again. McDonald’s best burger is the double quarter pounder.
My #1 fast-food burger is Jack-in-the Box’s Sourdough Jack; it’s absolutely fabulous. It’s far better than anything at either of the two big places. The only bad thing about it is there isn’t a double version.
I haven’t had a double-double at In-n-Out in years… I get 4x4’s.

Red Robin’s Royal could easily give any burger a run, but my favorite there is the new Blackened Bayou Burger. Cole slaw instead of lettuce!? Brilliant!

13

For fast food, I’d go with Red Robin, only because of the variety and the fact that they will cook it to your desired doneness. BK and McDonalds: I won’t darken their doorstep unless starving and there’s nothing else. Wendy’s isn’t too awful, and Carls Junior has had its moments, but not recently. Never had an In n’ Out or a Fatburger.

14

The best burgers I’ve ever had are the Double Stacker from BK and the equivalent from Jack in the Box (can’t remember the name right now). The burgers I cook at home come next, followed by most of the burgers at Red Robin. Everything else trails behind.

15

Sorry, I want to have grandkids.

16

There’s nothing like a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. You’re right, it’s in its own class of thing-you-crave.

When I was in elementary school, we got Wednesday afternoons off because that was when the public school kids came to take religion. When we got a Burger King, my pals and I would go spend our allowance on Whoppers. Every Wednesday. I haven’t had one since, and my best friend growing up died during our college years so I am actually afraid of ever eating one again, because I think the nostalgia would do me in.

I go for the BK Classic Chicken sandwich instead. :wink:

17

Five Guys Burgers & Fries. Yum Yum damn good.

18

In the In-N-Out thread that is going on, I break burgers into to seperate catagories that share a single name. There are fast food Burgers and other burgers (this would include hamburger stand burgers which are not the same as fast food burgers and are generally superior to their sit down restaurant cousins. But they are still the same general foodstuff as the sit down burger.)

I disagree about the big mac, mostly because I dislike the big mac, and I think that the Fatburger does not belong to this catagory but instead belongs at the top of the heap of regular chain restaurant burgers. (As it is a burger shack style burger and not a fast food burger.)

Otherwise I agree with the rest of your post.

The only other thing I have to add is, if you have not had a burger with an egg on it, you have not lived.

Someday I will get a fatburger with everything they offer* and then have a heart attack and die happy.

Oh and if anyone is in LA (and I know the LA posters are attracted to the burger threads) and wants to venture out to North Hollywood to have the pinicle of the hamburger stand burger, go here. It isn’t as famous as The Apple Pan, but it has the best burger I have ever had.
*This will be a double king burger with 4 slices of cheese, 4 strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato, grilled onion, mustard, chili and an egg. Washed down with a lemonaide and followed up with a chocolate shake.

19

Opinions on Fuddruckers? I used to like them because you could top them anyway you wanted. The last few times I visited the local one the quality seemed to have dropped. Plus I got that pesky celiac diagnosis so most burgers are not an option unless I go without the bun.

Five Guys is pretty hard to beat for the price.

20

I believe the advantage of the ‘typical’ fast food burger over a higher end burger stems from a few things.

  1. The griddle. Most chains use it. In addition to being very efficient and relatively insensitive to poorly trained employees, a griddled burger tastes better. Probably due to a higher proportion of Maillard reaction products than are generated by other methods.

  2. The size and proportions of chain burgers are amenable to large amounts of a diversity of toppings. The larger, fatter profile of a high end burger often makes the toppings slide around.

  3. The bun. While fast food buns are not good examples of bread, they are excellent for adhering to and containing the slippery toppings. An ‘artisinal ciabatta’ bun (for instance) is often too stiff to conform to the toppings. Even worse may be resilient enough to translate the bite forces perpendicularly, causing a wedging effect which pushes the toppings and patty out the opposite side of te bun, leaving the eater with a mouthful of bread.

  4. Choice of toppings. While most chains are not terribly adventurous in their selection , everything works. The flavor profile of a Big Mac is really pretty good. Iceberg lettuce is a better choice for burgers because of it’s stiffness and relatively high water content, which result in a texture and temperature contrast. Sliced round tomatoes work far better than halved cherry tomatoes. ‘Fancy’ toppings on expensive burgers can get lost in the shuffle unless applied in huge amounts.

The biggest knock against fast food burgers? The patty. With a few exceptions, they are not very good examples of cooked ground beef. If you’ve never tried it, order a hamburger with absolutely nothing on it at Mcdonald’s and taste just the meat. There’s no ‘there’ there. The Big Mac (and the Whopper, and many others) is about far more than the meat, which could, honestly, be just about any protein.

So, if you consider a hamburger to be a sandwich in which the beef and bread play supporting roles in an ensemble of flavor, fast food can score quite highly. On the other hand, fancy burgers can be really great if your want a sandwich where beef and bread (which are excellent things in and of themselves) predominate.

Also, fast food fries are almost universally awesome, while many restaurant examples are just OK.