Inspired by the threads on the horror that is the Burger King “King” monster (no, he’s not a person, i’m convinced he’s an evil monster), i’d like to see a “Celebrity Deathmatch” style competition between the spokesentities…
Contenders i can think of;
Burger King; the evil, soulless plastic-faced King with his mouth stuck in a deathlike rictus grin
McDonalds; lots of spokescritters here, Ronald, Grimace, Mayor McCheese, Big Mac, the Fry Guys, Birdie (all the evil Sid and Marty Krofft-inspired spokesmonsters)
Arby’s; the Oven Mitt
Taco Bell; the Chihuaua
any other contenders i’m missing?
i think it’d be a tough competition, the King is strong with the powers of the Dark Side (i mean, lets be honest, “he” stood toe-to-toe with the ultimate badass, Darth Vader), but i think there’s a lot of untapped Rage underneath the lovable purple exterior of the Purple Behemoth, Grimace, he’s been playing second fiddle to that damn “Clown” for far too many years, in fact, i think the first death will be a case of “freindly fire” as Grimace consumes Ronald (besides, we all know that Clowns are pure, unadulterated Evil anyway…) then starts hungrily looking at the Fry Guys…
i then see Grimace grabbing the Arby’s Oven Mitt and shoving it down the throat of the King, asphyxiating the king and killing the Oven Mitt in a “Double Kill” event…
but since the King isn’t really alive per-se (can anything that truly evil ever die?, he arises from the grave, hungry for the Purple Rage Monster (Band name!)'s spicy BRAAAIIINNNS!!!..
hmm, tough one to call, what do you think?