So I’m driving home the other night chomping on a king-size onion rings and chicken sandwich from Burger King as I am wont to do on an evening. When a piece of yummy breaded grease drops onto my shirt, as they are wont to do, I grab the shirt and make it pop, to force the greasy niblet off the shirt without grinding the grease into the fabric.
MY EYE!! Luckily it hit only the corner of my eye but if it had been more serious, I could have lost control and smushed my car and myself. Or at least lost a contact lens to greasement.
I am almost hoping for that law prohibiting eating in cars. I can’t stop myself but my law-abiding side might save my life someday.
You know, the farts that are produced from me eating Burger King onion rings could quite possibly kill somebody someday. It’s yet another reason for me to avoid Burger King from now on…
Just before I left for work one morning I ate a banana.
30 minutes into the 45 minute commute the banana decided to try to kill me. It decided to come back up out of my body via my mouth while I was driving 65mph down the freeway. So in trying not to crash I decided to keep my head up so I could watch traffic while I was throwing up on my self and my streering wheel and all over the dashboard.
Needless to say I went back home and called in sick. To this day I do not like the smell of banana’s and will not eat one for a long time. The smell of puke and banana mixed almost made me throw up again.