I have never graded a PIT rant and have no standard on which to judge, so I will simply stand and applaud.
Bravo, barvisimo.
BTW – you might try bungsucker, but somebody around here would wonder why you said that like a bad thing, too.
That was amazing !!.. I have directed my wife (who is responsible for collecting money for our company - the stories she could tell!!) who will no doubt promptly pee her pants laughing …
I wish you the best of luck in collecting from this festering klotesakk (spelling??) - give him a good cockwhipping for me!!
Klootzak.
Man, Skinny, I just read it again, and I’m STILL laughing. Pure genius. Post more, dammit! We need funny fucks such as yourself.
Don’t hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel.
your humble TubaDiva
laughing AND cryin’
holds lit lighter over head
Encore! Encore!
Great lyrics SkinnyGuy.
Can I nominate this for Threadspotting?
So, we are still into the FAT thing… and yes, by this you include me… don’t call me fat, you wank off! I’ll twirl you! I’ll spin you until you hurl! I’ll do things to you that you can’t even begin to understand until…
Wait…
You are not worth it.
You aren’t.
I’m a big lady. You just can’t get that. It’s okay. I feel sorry for you. I’m taller than you, and bigger than you. I’m just… well, MORE than you… sad, really, that you are so small too be overshadowed by me… you wank!
And men think they are all that!
BWHA HA HA!
Credit due to Skinnydude, great job.
Oh, well, Silo, chimed in… that should tell you what’s what… oh, yeah, Silo… the loser’s looser… oh, wait, that’s too harsh… No, wait, it’s not… Silo sucks… he just practically said so… So there you go…
Byz,
Although the thread title does suggest otherwise, the OP is directed solely at his boss. I’m sure SkinnyGuy means no harm to all fat people at, uhm, large 
I think he explained the same to you in his former rant, if memory serves me right.
I for one think it’s a piece of genius.
We’re not fat, we’re fluffy. Call me if you need any help with the twirling and hurling.
K.
=^…^=
…" "…
Byzantine, I’m not convinced your posts were serious, but just in case…
This thread, and my previous rant are not about weight. They’re not about physical appearance. They are certainly not about any group of people in general.
What these threads are about is two people who thoroughly piss me off. The first one is a bigot beyond anyone’s comprehension, the second one (this thread) is a scumbag who’s trying to bleed me dry by not paying me. That I call them on their physical appearance is something they allowed me to do. By first condescending me for being thin.
[sup]Side note. And believe me, I am thin. I am 33 years old and until now I have seen exactly three (3) people in real life who are thinner than I am. Three. In all those years. Think about that for a minute. Two of them were anorexic teenage girls (something which I did not intend to ridicule in my other post, by the way), the third one was some junkie who was obviously one syringe away from death.[/sup]
My whole life I have been putting up with assholes who think it’s up to them to inform me of my weight. Fuck 'em. At some point I started informing them of things they couldn’t do anything about either. It shuts them up, fast. I’ll quote myself from my other thread: “Criticise me for what I do. Not for what I am but can’t change.”
Both subjects of my rants classified themselves as turkeys for the shoot by thinking they could tell me what I should look like. In neither case was it the reason for me to start ranting. I’d have a full-time job if I had to start doing that. It was just an aspect of my aggravation. The coincidence is that both of these guys are overweight. (And by this I mean that they are both obviously too heavy and that they show obvious physical discomfort deriving from their condition and that neither of them has a medical condition causing this.)
A lot of my responses are tongue in cheek. Parts of the rants are not seriously meant either. (I mean, “Edgar Hoover look-alike”?) I thought the title of this thread was pretty obviously tongue in cheek. If it isn’t I apologize for that. But only for that.
Because I will not, not now - not ever, apologize for calling these specific two jerk-offs bloated, fat, humungous, lard-ass, obese, Popeye-chicken-eating motherfuckers.
[sup]::stalks off, mumbling, wearing a righteous aura::[/sup]
…? ok,
Blow me, ya ho’s ho! well that should tell ya right… NO, wait! Bizzy wizzy prolly can’t even perform a descent… Ah, I should’ve realized you’re nothing but a dumb… Oh, um…yeah…
If it makes you feel any better, SkinnyGuy, I’m rather on the portly side myself (6’1", 235), and I thought the rant was abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.
SkinnyGuy – Not serious. Just farting around. Don’t sweat the (tee he) small stuff! 
Skinnyguy,
I don’t want ** you ** , it’s your ** cupcakes ** I’m after. 
As my brother in law would say: “I’ll get back to you when you’re eating it!”
[sup](Well, actually he would never say such a thing, because his English is pretty much non-existant. He’s more likely to say: “Je zou 'em eens moeten eten!” But then you’d have to get a dictionary, which would turn out to be insufficient, and Coldfire wouldn’t be of any help either, because he’d translate it as “You can chew the bark of my big fat log!” which is entirely wrong. Ish.)[/sup]
Byz, glad to hear you’ve got a sense of humour. (Yes, there’s a ‘u’ in there.)
I believe the particular custom you’re referring to has been outlawed in all countries, except for Sweden. (You know what they’re like.) Sweden’s just a 1,000 km drive (625 miles, you barbarians) for me. Let me know 8 hours in advance and I’ll be there…
Bring your whip.