So Father’s Day is coming up real soon, and I suspect that one of my brothers will be emailing me in the next day or so, asking what we should give to our father. I’m the youngest sibling at 37. At this point, does it even make sense to give our father a gift? Mostly I give flowers to my mom, or a plant, for Mother’s Day. (This year was a vase and flowers from my garden). But there really doesn’t seem to be an equivalent kind of gift for fathers.
We’ve done Omaha Steaks in the past, but last time, apparently the box sat out on his porch, the dry ice all melted away, and thus an expensive gift was chucked. He wasn’t traveling or out of town, just goes in the house through the garage, and the gift was left on the porch. So this whole idea is out the window.
Any thoughts? Gift or not? (BTW: I do not get along with my father, but will cooperate with the socially accepted expectations.) I’m leaning to a card with something pleasant written in it.
This is a lot easier for my family since my father’s father is still alive. My dad (at 62) still gets his dad a present so I still get one for him, as well.
Buying for my dad is challenging (I usually start thinking about it two months early so I can come up with something good) but he is a great dad and I love seeing him enjoy his presents.
BTW, a cookie-gram is a good gift for a dad. If he still works, you can have it delivered to his office so it doesn’t get stuck on the doorstep.
(Luckily, my husband, who is also a dad, likes ties. He gets a new tie from each of the kids, easy as pie.)
A card from my kids would be more than enough for me. I’ve asked my wife to please, (please, please) not get me anything for Fathers day. I’m not her father. I know I’m not going to get what I want though - nothing - so it doesn’t much matter what I do get.
My dad never wanted presents. He would fuss if we bought him things. BUT, if you just happened to be baking a pie or making some peanut brittle anyway and you decided to bring him some, well, he wouldn’t turn it down.
ETA: For Suburban Plankton, the Kiddo and I usually take him to a Giants or River Cats game. Which is what they do for me for Mother’s Day.
After my parents died, we found most of our gifts still in original boxes in the garage - many of them quite pricey.
Then again, my father was the type of guy who, when he needed or wanted something, would go out and get it immediately.
Avoid all gadgets and appliances - stick with food and drink - at least that has a better chance of being used (although your story of the Omaha steaks is both funny and sad at the same time - waste of money and food…)
How about a gift certificate at the local Costco or Sam’s Club?
You don’t mention how close you are to your father geographically. Would a gift be something you give to him in person, or something mailed?
I think the “socially accepted expectations” are that you do something to acknowledge that you’re thinking of him on Father’s Day and that you appreciate what he did for you as a father. Exactly how you do this (what form it takes, how much you spend, how much effort you go to) depends on all sorts of variables: what your father would want or appreciate; your own means; what kind of relationship you have, or want to have, with your father; etc.
He’s about a 4 hr drive away, so it would be mailed. The cookies look to be a good option, plus now that I know of the steak debacle - I’ll be sure to call on Sunday and ask if he’s eating his yummy cookies.
Its not like he’s a terrible father - he’s just said some shitty things to/about me that suck to hear from your dad. It seems like every time the fam gets together someone always has to “go along to get along”, and its basically everyone shutting up to not get him more worked up than he already is. I did discover what happens when you push back against some of the less-PC crap he says - hence sentence one of this paragraph - it turns personal pretty quickly and unpleasantly.
So somewhere, deep in the cockles of my heart, I’m sure there is a loving feeling towards him, I just don’t always like him very much, if you get what I’m saying.
Aaahhh - a little bit of catharsis - and great gift suggestions all in one thread. I love the Dope!
Ever asked him why he said those things? It maybe that he’s more frustrated in himself, that you didn’t turn out like he thought you would. People aren’t perfect and they say some stupid shit they regret, and don’t want to bring up again.
In regards to my Dad, we don’t do gifts we just do cards and a phone call.
I’m assuming this will be the third year in a row my kids don’t do anything for Fathers Day for me. My ex has successfully cut me out of their lives almost completely.
I ran out of money before she did. Not surprising considering she makes 5X what I do. I get to pay her legal fees and am forced to work 12-14 hours a day so no time for visitation…
We have joint custody, she’s had primary custody for the last 11 years, she reneged on a deal we had so I got screwed. With the hours I have to work to pay her and keep a roof over my head, she has de facto sole custody.
