From the various reactions I’ve seen from people about Father’s Day, and seeing so many people have hostile feelings towards their dads, I wondered how widespread this situation is, and if it is any more prevalent in one culture or another.
For the purposes of this poll " White Northern European" refers to people with ancestry mainly from countries like the UK, Germany, Sweded, Poland, etc, and “White Southern European” refers to people with ancestry mainly from countries like Spain, Italy, & Greece.
Also, you can interpret the word “despise” to mean something much more strong than simply “not getting along”. e.g. you haven’t spoken in years and don’t mind if you never speak to them again, and may even hope that you never speak to them again.
I despise my mother in that if someone was to describe her characteristics, habits, attitude, and history and she was not related to me, I would be disgusted and would want nothing to do with the person.
I talk to her about once every couple of months on the phone when I can’t avoid it any longer and see her about three or four times a year. She’s kind of a terrible person. I could go the rest of my life without talking to her and feel no loss.
Other: ‘I was raised in White Northern European culture and don’t get along with either of my parents’ would be the closest opton similar to your poll options. You can’t even have enough poll options when you’ve made so many.
I strongly dislike one of them, but that’s more a personality clash than her being a bad person (though there’s some of that too), and the other one I have good reasons to despise but actually don’t; I have cut off contact with him for years but that’s simply because it’s better for me.
I don’t get along very well with my dad because I’m still a little pissed about how he was fucking women who weren’t my mom, while they were still married and “trying to make it work”.
I have tried very hard to get past it and be civil with him, and it’s better than it was, but we’re not close at all. I wouldn’t go as far as “despise”, although that was probably true for a time.
I’m going to put “other culture” because I don’t think my ancestry has much to do with my parents’ style of parenting (American).
I get along great with my dad, and I did with my mother too until her death in 1990.
My ethnicity is various European, but I was raised firmly in White American culture, so I chose other/get along with. I identify as Italian, but am equally German, Irish, and English. But very little “cultural pride” in any of those.
I voted “despise both” but really, I despise one (mother) and the other one I can take or leave primarily because he never stood up for me or defended me, but other than that I don’t despise him per se. But the choice I used for my vote is close the fuck enough, because, having gotten it through his head that I want nothing to do with her, he wants nothing to do with me.
I suppose being white and being raised in New England makes me of the Northern White European Culture thingie … but really … what the hell does that even mean.
I was raised by my parents in the Northern Batty Culture for lack of better term. I mean, it’s not like were eating scones for breakfast and heading out to the cricket matches in the afternoon.
Anyway … I get along with both of my parents. Who have been married for close to 50 years, since they were teenagers.
I’m confused, does the poll apply only to Americans?
Reading the definitions in the OP, I’m not sure whether us White Southern European Hispanics should apply as “Hispanics”, “Southern Europeans” or “other”.
I guess the OP was a bit US-centric in its phrasing.
[ul]
[li]If you are from Spain, you should select “White Southern European” (the OP mentions ’ “White Southern European” refers to people with ancestry mainly from countries like Spain, Italy, & Greece.')[/li][li]The entries related to ‘Hispanic culture’ relate to people from Latin America.[/li][/ul]
I’m not sure if the culture in Spain (and how its people relate to their parents) is closer to that of Italy and Greece or to that of Mexico, but I assume it’s close to Italy and Greece. If you think this is incorrect, let me know, and also post your response under ‘Hispanic culture’
FWIW, below are results so far, even though we don’t really have enough samples for some of the categories for a statistically significant estimate:
Percent of people in each culture/ethnicity who fall under the four categories of parental relathionships:
Hispanic Black Jewish SouthEU NorthEU Other
Both Parents OK N/A N/A 75.0 60.0 84.8 68.8
One Parent not OK N/A N/A 12.5 20.0 8.7 25.0
One Parent VERY not OK N/A N/A 12.5 20.0 4.3 0.0
Two Parents VERY not OK N/A N/A 0.0 0.0 2.3 6.3
Even though the results are still preliminary, I must say I am a bit surprised. For some reason, I assumed that people from Northern European cultures would have higher rates of not getting along with their parents, but the results above show that they have lower rates that Jews, Southern Europeans, and Other.
