Feel free to bet on how many times I fall apart trying to deliver it, tomorrow.
:(:(
I understand now, in a way that neither casual reading nor academic study could convey, the practice of ancestor worship. Despite the alleged benevolence of the various gods, they seem to offer little real succor to mortals. Contrast this to the sustinence, comfort, love and guidance provided by good parents. And unlike the gods, whose representatives frequently remind us, are endowed with immense power and resources. Parents are as mortal as their progeny. Yet despite their frailty and finite ability to give, the best of them seem to spare nothing to benefit their children. It seems only natural that this would inspire devotion and service of intensity constituting worship as well as a desire, if not belief, that the boones provided by such ancestors be continued beyond the defining limitations of mortality itself. It seems to me far more productive and appropriate to revere those ancestors that are still with us, rather than those who have departed. It was my life’s greatest honor to serve my parents in my father’s last days and my greatest regret that I developed this attitude so late.
The tradition of our culture is to offer a eulogy or benediction. Both words mean, literally, to speak well and you would be hard-pressed to find much critical commentary on the life of the deceased in any service. Some have suggested that it might be better to examine the failings of the departed in order to inspire virtue in those who yet live. We could remember, accurately, their lives and thus be inspired by them to tell our children we love them, live frugally and temperately, emphasize people over possessions and principle over advantage. But, my father has refused to provide such a cautionary tale in the way he lived his life. His children never wanted for love, material needs, guidance or discipline. He was respectful of his wife as an equal partner, not subordinate. He valued honesty, hard work, good humor and general courtesy. While not formally educated, his was one of the sharpest minds I have ever known, but more to his credit than this native ability was his insistence on using his mind to understand the world he lived in and the people therein. Without voicing the sentiment, the demonstrated to us that much of the evil in the world is borne of ignorance and that we can each mitigate that, if only incrementally, by dispelling it in ourselves.
I have read many holy texts and studied the gods of many faiths. Based on their reported actions and attitudes, my father served a better example to them than vice-versa. No deity I am familiar with would make me a better man than I would be if I could fully emulate my father.
Now that the Void has taken half of my pantheon, I have little else to do, but double my efforts to serve the only god I have left. Dear mother, all that is left of my beloved father’s strength, honor, loyalty and love is in my breast and I vow before all here and in his name that none of it shall be spared you, while that breast also contains breath.