I dunno, if there was a thread called ‘mothers of sons: do you think all women aren’t good enough for your boy* until proven otherwise’ I wouldn’t be offended.
I would, however, expect fewer overtly protective answers. I might have my prejudice challenged.
*yes, I know, hardly the same as scum, but it’s roughly the equivalent social stereotype
Definitely some eye-opening reading material in there. Wow! Definitely some of my ignorance has been fought…
I grew up in a podunk town some years ago, so I’m sure I’m naive about some of this stuff. And I note things from time to time (e.g. my six year-old niece dancing provocatively) but take them as flash-in-the-pan or outlier data.
Reading it all, I have some conflicting thoughts…
Why aren’t the parents monitoring their kids’ (both male and female) behavior? and 2) With technology, it’s harder than ever for parents to know what’s going on…and of course, single parent households are even harder to manage.
Women’s liberation has done some great things for women, and 2) it’s done some questionable things for young girls. Note, I don’t think girls are evil if they have a healthy sex drive or whatever but there seems to be a lack of (beneficial) parental “spin” on the material.
I’m going to need some time to digest this. Thanks for posting the links, Kalhoun.
@alexandra: perhaps if we worked in a term like ‘conniver’ to ‘mothers of sons: do you think all women aren’t good enough for your boy* until proven otherwise’ ?
It would definitely turn some neighbors’ heads if my daughter came home with Tom Cruise.
C’mon people, chillax! I don’t believe anyone is even half serious about this. And don’t tell me you haven’t said something similar about your own daughters.
I, for one, joke about that all the time. In reality I intend to expend more time educating my daughter about self-worth, protection, and handling relationships more than I will do making sure my husband will not kill some horny teenage boy.
And by the way, I know girls can be as horny as guys themselves. We have hormones too. I think that if it wasn’t for mores and expectations teenage girls would be chasing boys just as hard. I know I would have.
Taken at face value this thread should be more offensive to women than men. And I am not in the least offended.
Way to ruin a perfectly hilarious thread.
Nevermind the typos. Grrr… stupid brain!
The Classic rules:
~~TEN SIMPLE~~
~~RULES TO DATING ~~
~~MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER~~
(A message from Daddy)
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “early”.
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, imwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my >daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
I’m a mother with sons so I’m completely unqualified or experienced but I think the underlying issue for fathers with daughters and guys they date is not that they think every guy is scum… They’re scared to death that daughter is loose!
Gee, I sure wish someone had linked to those Rules round about, oh, say, post #21, then Clothahump wouldn’t have had to go to all the trouble of cutting and pasting.
When I was a lad what I noticed was this:
1/ short of engaging in Fritzl-like behaviour, the more controlling of your daughter’s behaviour and movements you are, the less you will actually know of your daughter’s behaviour and movement
2/ your daughter’s motivation to behave in a way you don’t approve will increase with your attempts to control her behaviour and movement
3/ lying to you about every aspect of her private life is not something your daughter can be made to do involuntarily. It may suit your delusions to believe that she’s a prim princess being led astray by a slavering male sex maniac but (criminal male behaviour excepted, obviously) she’s the one going to the effort to dodge your controls and if she didn’t very much want to do what she’s doing, she’d stop.
It’s too late to start a thread entitled “Fathers of sons: Do you think your sons are scum till proven otherwise?” So I’ll ask it here.
I would like to think that fathers make some attempt at educating their sons. Telling them that the world does not owe them a lay, for instance, and that “no” means “no,” not “try again.” Everyone is saying that daughters have to be protected from predatory boys. Why is everyone so resigned that boys will be predatory? Is there truly nothing that can be done to alleviate that?
And yes, I understand that has no bearing on the same father’s daughter’s situation. But there might not be so much paranoia if this “boys will be boys” attitude wasn’t so widely accepted.
Short of castration, no, since the definition of “predatory” in this case appears to be “has a sex drive”.
I really dislike this notion of “predator”, whichever sex is doing it. Don’t we all like sex? It’s not like we’re being hunted down and eaten or something.
Can we still be eaten without being hunted? 
This is, from my experience, 100% true. My dad tried that overprotective bullshit, and all it did was guarantee that I never talked to him about anything important. He never knew any of my friends, and certainly never met any guy I was interested in.
Yes and no. To some degree there will be rebellion, but by the time I was 13 or 14, I was going to be who I was going to be, and nothing that my parents did was going to change it. It wasn’t rebellion that I was out trying to get laid, it’s that I wanted to get laid.
This part is pretty much true, although I think the case is that the behavior of the father (or older brothers/male cousins who are self appointed protectors) influences whether or not they are lied to. If they act like thugs who are overly concerned with the crotch of the daughter, they are asking to be lied to.
Because it’s easier than men accepting that their daughters want to get laid just as much as their sons do.
The boys aren’t predatory, so I really don’t see what needs to be ‘alleviated’ other than these archane and idiotic ideals about female purity.
What we need to fix is the social attitude that girls don’t want and can’t handle sex.
I figure on making friends with any boy who comes acourting for my daughter. He’ll be so awestruck by my coolness than he’ll want to do anything to please me.
When he arrives, I’ll be in the back yard (stripped to the waist) practicing my kindjahl techniques on a pig carcass hung from my magnolia tree.
While I towel off, he can thread bits of pork onto the skewers for shashlik…as guest of honor he gets the kidneys and testicles.
After we eat, we can sit down and discuss what their plans are for the rest of the evening. I’m a busy man, so I will probably be multitasking and be stripping/cleaning one of my .45’s during this conversation. My wife is a busy woman too, and if her Kalashnikov needs cleaning, so be it.
Next, I will introduce my daughter’s uncle Andrei. He’s a likeable, fun guy. One of the really fun things about him is guessing whether he is or isn’t mafia.
Finally, I will set the curfew for the evening and make clear that should the curfew be violated there will be repercussions. In future dates, should there be any, our young swain would be required to wear something akin to a collar bomb. Only smaller. And lower.
I haven’t read anything past the point that this became a Pit thread, because I can’t friggin’ believe this became a Pit thread.
The OP and the first dozen or so responses were written so tongue-in-cheek, I’m suprised any off us can speak recognizable words anymore.
Well, Scumpup, if you really do take that attitude, you can pretty much guarantee your daughter will never bring a date home to meet you.
Unless you keep her locked up in a cage or follow her around 24x7, she will find a way to escape such macho posturing bullshit. I did.
Honestly, what is with this attitude? Why, in the 21st century, do people still act this way? What is it that makes any man think that his daughter’s vagina belongs to him?
catsix, my friend, I’d have sworn that you, of all people, wouldn’t need smileys.
“No, actually, I’m dressing you mentally. You know, an overcoat, maybe a veil.”
I agree. I mean, obviously, the guys in this thread are joking, but the jokes aren’t even funny anymore. They’re so obvious and exactly the same. But there’s probably some truth there…guys seem uncomfortable with their daughters having sex. I guess that’s what weirds me out. Why not just assume that you raised her right and that she’ll enjoy having sex like a guy would?