Dunno if this has been done before, but I was thinking about “The Rodeo Song” today and chortling to myself:
Another favorite is “How Come My Dog Don’t Bark When You Come Around?” I can’t find the lyrics on the web, but it’s an amusing ditty.
Thirdly, “Da Turdy Point Buck” never fails to crack me up: “A flash of white, and there he was . . . gone.”
Oh, god…I used to be a major Dr. Demento fan in the early 90s. I can remember getting up at 6AM Sunday morning to listen to the damn show!
Anyway, there were a lot of them that I loved and haven’t heard anywhere since…
There was a song that came out right after Election Day 1992, called “The Wizard of Arkansas”:
Come out, come out,
wherevery you’ve been!
For being a liberal’s no longer a sin!
We bring you good news,
or haven’t you heard?
When he fell out of Arkansas,
a miracle occurred…
I wish I could find the lyrics online somewhere, but no soap…it was just too funny, especially after that freaking campaign season.
I can’t quote any of it, but I kind of like Denis Leary’s “I’m an Assh*le”
Same here, but I can sing along word for word.
The Jolly Rogers (a pirate-themed band which performs at Midwest Renaissance fairs) has a few songs that fit the bill, but my favorite is The Clean Song:
The linked site has the full lyrics and a preview of the song, sung in a deadpan voice. It’s a hoot.
Huh, I replied and I could’ve swore it went through, but I guess it got eaten.
Anyway, I said something along the lines of:
I grew up on the Rodeo Song. My dad had a Dr. Demento tape and played it everywhere we went for years. Of course it was edited so it was more like the $%^&* %^&* BEEP BEEP song.
I was dissapointed when I grew up and realized he was saying “gook”.
There’s another one from the early 90s Dr. Demento (okay, there are several):
There was a kind of vaudeville music-hall song based on Lysistrata, the only passage I remember word-perfect being “Oh, no, we won’t give 'em sex/not a kiss or a hug./You don’t reward a puppy when he pees on your rug”.
Some titles of songs I remember but don’t remember most of the lyrics to:
Making Love in a Subaru
Carphone (based off of “Convoy”, with a very Muffy/Biff accented executive talking to his very bored secretary in the CB segments…this may have been Scheeler & Scheeler) (HAH! Found the lyrics! It IS Scheeler & Scheeler!)
Right now, it’s Buckcherry’s Crazy Bitch.
Pretty much everything on The Bob and Tom Show.
A favorite that few people know is Don Bowman’s “Hello DJ”. It came out in 1972, and was about a guy getting progressively drunker and more obnoxious, calling Ralph Emory (country DJ) to ask why he hasn’t played the record he sent, and being hung up on. One side of the record is beeped, the other isn’t.
If we’re talking about non-PG novelty records, I’m a huge fan. I collect them, and have hundreds. It’s hard to pick just one! I love the break-ins by Dickie Goodman with and without his various partners. “This is John Cameron Cameron, downtown Mars.”
“Stranded In The Jungle” by The Cadets.
“Psycho Chicken” by The Fools (a takeoff on Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer”)
“Disco’s In The Garbage” by The Incinerators. Took me 26 years to find a copy.
“Leader Of The Laundromat” by The Detergents. (Sung by Ron Dante, voice of The Archies, The Cuff Links and many other studio pop records of the late ‘60s-early ‘70s.) They also did a great record called “The Little Old Doctor From Ipanema” - which satirizes Jan & Dean.
"Baby Sittin’ Boogie" by Buzz Clifford.
I like all of his goofy records, but my fave is “Gitarzan” by Ray Stevens. You have to get the original single, and not the terrible remix with the panoramic stereo crowd overdubs that’s on all the compilations now. Special mention to “The Streak.”
I have the entire recorded output of Stan Freberg. It’s not an exaggeration to say that this guy was a genius. I could list dozens of his records that are freakin’ brilliant and hilarious, but to name just a few, everyone should know “St. George & The Dragonet” and “John & Marsha”. Perhaps less well known are “Try”, his amazing takeoff on Johhnie Ray’s “Cry”, "The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise, " satirizing Les Paul, “Sh-Boom”, “Wide Screen Mama Blues”, “The Yellow Rose Of Texas”, “The Great Pretender” and “Heartbreak Hotel.”
P.S.: in square dancing, the call is “allemande left, allemande right.”
Michelangelo by Dr. Hook.
Written (I believe) by the great Shel Silverstein, it’s a tune which asks artists and inventors how they came up with their ideas and creations.
The answer is in the refrain:
“That’s what I do when I can’t get no pussy…
And I don’t get no pussy at all!”
Quasi
I enjoy pretty much anything by Tom Lehrer, which is something, since most of his stuff is pretty dated and I wasn’t alive when he was performing.
I tuned in to the Doctor’s show during the 90s. Good stuff.
Contemporarily, Weird Al’s output is tremendous, of course, and I’m enjoying Stephen Lynch as well.
This song must have been plagiarised, and sanitized, by Trick Pony, then, with “Can’t Get No Lovin.” (Don’t ask me why I know this song.)
Argent, I don’t know for a fact that it was written by Shel, but it came off a now out-of-print album called The Worst of Dr. Hook, and knowing that Shel wrote many of their tunes, and knowing that this was something he might write, I’m pretty sure it’s his song.
If I am remembering correctly, I believe Shel actually “found” Dr. Hook as the best band to play his songs.
In fact, Dennis La Corrierre (check spelling) and Ray Sawyer had (IMHO) voices which sounded like Shel’s.
See if you can find “You Ain’t Here” and listen to it. Shel was amazingly talented.
Q
Don Bowman’s “Hello DJ” is a real hoot, although as fishbicycle said, it was rarely heard. A buddy was a DJ back in '72 and had a 45 rpm promotional copy, listed as “NOT FOR AIRPLAY”. Duh.
Took me 30 years to find a good copy of it again, but got a hold of an unopened album “Still Fighting Mental Health”, which had both versions of the song on it. The song was actually written by Bobby Bare. The rest of the album doesn’t have the same degree of foul language, but it is still written with the same sense of humor.
The best Lehrer “dirty” song is I got it from Agnes - too risque for any of the three records, but on the various box sets.
Barnes and Barnes (Billy Mumy and friend) have one called Party in my Pants. Lots of weird stuff there.
Not exactly a “novelty song” per se - it’s straight out blues, but it’s so rip-roarin’ filthy that I can’t help but crank it up and rock out. Possibly the dirtiest song ever written, and it was recorded in 1928. Lucille Bogan’s Shave 'Em Dry (and yes, I know I’ve posted about this song a hundred times.)
“I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come,
Oh daddy, baby won’t you shave 'em dry?
Want you to grind me baby, grind me until I cry.”
And another verse:
“I would fuck you baby, honey I’d make you cry.
Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell clapper,
And your dick stands up like a steeple,
Your goddam ass-hole stands open like a church door,
And the crabs walks in like people.”
She does it in such a balls-out raunchy, bar-room bouncing, unapologetic manner. Amazing song.
What? No “Fuck Her Gently” by Tenacious D?
No mention of “Martin Scorsese” by King Missile?
Dirty Old Man by The Fugs, first time I heard it, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Bob/George by Prince on his very hard to find Black Album. “No, no, not that one. The reddish brown one.”
Ignorant n’ Shit by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.