What the Piss is a timeless classic, in the 319th Training Squadron (home to the Fever Flight, the Medical Hold and Separation Flight, the Get Fit Flight, or as I collectively call them, the Sick, the Broken, the Crazies and the Lazies), the TIs also have “Holy Crap, Taller Tap!”.
One of my TIs, a very short skinny Mexican man who I will always live in fear of and check under my bed for before going to sleep, was (in)famous for shouting out, in response to some mistake made a trainee: “NICE ONE, NICKLENUTS!”
Other expressions I picked up in Basic include “Asstard Oxygen Thieves!” (they weren’t **allowed **to swear. This is not the same as saying that they weren’t inclined to do so, however) and “Drawing a giant middle finger on the bottom of that clothing drawer” in response to someone not rolling their socks in the exact proper way.
Though I very rarely get to say it, I love “Christ on a go-cart!” stolen from “Walker’s Crik,” a student-written play from high school.
Even though I think it’s horribly insulting to say “retard” or “tard,” I really like “fucktard”- so I try not to say it, and usually use “asshat” instead.
“Fuck-a-doodle-doo” crept into my vocab from Shaun of the Dead, except it’s still on the “mental use only” list, because there are few occasions where I can find use for it.
I don’t use “Asstard Oxygen Thieves” but I’m so going to. I’m thinking it should replace “Donkey-raping shiteater,” which I’ve grown weary of, yet still pops out at frequent occasions.
A classic from my bro, former USAF…when installing something like a car stereo or plugging something into the back of your computer, where you have to feel with your hand for something you can’t see: “Damn, can’t find it. Could you put some hair around it?”
Somewhere along the way, lobotomyboy63, you and I are clearly related. My mother often said, when someone was having trouble getting a key into a lock or other similar circumstances, “You could hit it if it had hair around it.”
Must be on my father’s side, a former truck driver who used to drive through Ohio there en route to Baltimore :eek: …my mom would turn every shade of red if anybody even spells s-e-x.
I’m rather partial to “Alrighteous” and “Alrighteousness” for some reason, when Righteous or alright could be used. It works for either one for me. I’m also a huge fan of “dude”, “man”, and “babe” thanks to my 80s loving uncles, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- I’ve used these things since I was a kid, and there’s no sign of stopping now.
Also, it was recently pointed out to me that I happen to use the word “Really?” a lot whenever I feel sarcastic/and or disbelieving. I just look at them and change the intonations of the word, and can end up using it 3-4 times just with different emphases to convey disbelief.
Well, I use FFS a lot. Yep, just the letters – everyone in the family knows it means “for fuck’s sake.” I also tend to say “fuck me running!” when really annoyed.
Of course, one of my favourite phrases is “and then he/she/they looked at me as if I’d just grown a third head.” My daughter always giggles over that one, because we live in the South. Anywhere else, if one grew a second head, people would give strange looks, but here in the polite South, a second head would be acknowledged with a smile and a “how do you do?” but a third head? Well, that would be rude, bringing two uninvited guests, and you would get an odd look.
I smashed my baby toe a few years ago. I called out “Holy C*ck-sucking, orc-humping perverted mother of Christ”
A friend of mine, a devoted and evangelical athiest said “wow even I need to go to confession after that.”
At work when payroll screws up and we get issued a demand cheque we usually get hit up for extra taxes and payroll deductions, union dues etc. We call it “getting an ass-raping without dinner or lube”
Ha! I can’t believe the serendipity here - I’m scheduled for an all-day cluster fuck - er, “requirements gathering working session” tomorrow where a bunch of chicken fuckers are going to be (in effect) asking me what they need from me. I cannot wait to blurt this out to a sympathetic co-worker during a break. I’m sure I’ll also have plenty of opportunities to ask someone if they could be more vague. Responses will be in the affirmative.