“If god is alive He’s a fake. Or more likely a foot. A giant all-knowing, all-powerful foot. I don’t belong to the GOD is alive and living in Argentina club. But I believe in the Devil. Wanna’ know why? 'Cause the prick keeps doing commercials!” - Capt. Cutshaw, The Ninth Configuration
“There’s whats right and there’s whats right and never the 'tween shall meet” - H.I., Raising Arizona
“I was steering” - Maude, Harold and Maude
Get the idea? What are yours?
“Chew little cockroach”
“I have de best lawyer, you be walking a beat in Alaska”
“Make way for the bad guy, bad guy coming through”
“Chew womb is so polluted, chew couldn’t even have a kid”
“And now, de leg”
(flamingo on TV screen) “fly pelican, fly…pelican”
“Dey got them chew-2’s and virleybirds an frogman, dat aint no duck walk”
“All I got in this world is my word and my balls, an I don’t break neither of dem for nobody”
(talking to guy he just shot) “Look at you now”
(holding M16) “Come and meet my little friend”
“What do chew mean chew told him chew worked in sanitation? I told chew to say chew were in a sanitorium”
“I want my human right”
“We’re goin to war! gonna eat that sosa for breakfast”
“When I first met chew, I knew chew were a tiger”
Spinal Tap:
“It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.”
“You can’t dust for vomit.”
“You’ve got to ask yourself how much more black could this be? And the answer is none… none more black.”
And my absolute favorite…
“As long as there was the sex and the drugs… I could do without the rock and roll.”
“Don’t you say a word to me. Don’t you say a f**king word, or I will get up, and I will bury this telephone in your head.”
“You had better not come back here without finishing the guy first, or I’ll stab you through the heart with a f**king pencil.”
“Sidney, relax, read a book, have a glass of cream soda, do some f**king thing.”
They’re not really funny unless you can hear Dennis Farrina saying them in your head…
BTW, that movie is 122 minutes long and they used the “F-word” 117 times.
Cough … (and on the same page, no less!)