Favorite meaningless advertising claims

There used to be a little hole in the wall haircutting place near our house. Their sign had their name, followed by: “We Specialize In Both Men And Women!”

Same absurdity as the quoted example- “specializing” in everything.

I’ve always wondered why those two skinny Foster Farms chickens were in so much of a hurry to get their heads chopped off and feathers plucked out.

It’s an honor to get slaughtered by Foster Farms!

Like I said, they’re gimmicks. As opposed to “this phone has a special LCD screen with 20 bazillion more pixels, and has a higher fidelity speaker built in, and has two cameras instead of just one (one on each side of the body)”.

Getting caught up in the English language. “Live” nude girls as opposed to girls on video. “More” live nude girls - the place is busier and you have more choices. The place on the corner has 3 girls, we have 50. Not all are on stage at once, they take turns, and spend the rest of the time with lap/table dances.

“Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper!”

It tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper than what? Coke? Lemonade? Gin?

I understand the implication: the difference in taste between the diet (fake sugar) and regular (real sugar) versions of Dr. Pepper is less than the difference between the diet and regular versions of other sodas. It’s being suggested that Dr. Pepper’s fake sugar doesn’t taste as fake, or the fake sugar taste is better masked by the Dr. Pepper flavor. We are perhaps meant to believe that in a blind taste test, fewer people could tell the difference between diet Dr. Pepper and regular Dr. Pepper than with diet/regular Coke, Pepsi, etc.

For all I know Dr. Pepper did conduct such taste tests and got just those kinds of results. But even if they didn’t, their slogan is still technically true as long as there exists at least one beverage that tastes less like regular Dr. Pepper than does diet Dr. Pepper.

“The best new movie of the year!” -Doesn’t mean much if you’re making this boast on January 2.

"TV’s number one drama (in the Wednesday 6 p.m. timeslot when no other channel is airing dramas, and not counting cable programming)!

Yes. Many years ago I worked with a guy whose promotional material (business cards, vehicle decals, etc) were marked “Panther Security - Specializing in Residential and Commercial Installations.” He could not be made to see how stupid that looked.

Chicago’s Brown’s Chicken used to advertise that they were the official fried chicken of the Chicago Bears. This was the first time I believed one of those “official” claims because, as The Fridge was a member at the time, I also assumed they were the official fried gizzards and fried livers (with hot sauce) of the Bears. Out in suburbia I can’t always get gizzards, which are like meat-flavored chewing gum, but can sometimes get jerk sauce for my livers.

Just try to buy professional hair products at a store that checks if you have a licence. I don’t know what the difference is, but you can’t.

I’ve been to them and none of us are, pretty much by definition. :frowning:

Cert’s … with retsyn.

So? And what the heck is retsyn anyway?

“a trademarked name for a mixture of copper gluconate, hydrogenated cottonseed oil, and flavoring.” (wikipedia).

In other words, the little sparkly flakes. woo!

Back before I could legally drink beer, there was one (US) brand that advertised that their “ice beer” was “brewed cold, shipped cold, and sold cold” or something like that, implying that keeping it cold somehow made it different.

Why is that stupid? Installing security systems is a pretty specialized field, even if he’s a generalist within that specialty.

Has anyone seen the anti-smoking ads in the NYC subway lately featuring clip art type lop eared rabbits holding balloons? “Kissing a dirty ashtray is not LOVING. Look into my eyes. Bunnies never lie.” I don’t know if it counts as advertising but it is so bizarre. (I’m guessing some rich person designed it as a public service?) Are you saying the nonsmoker is not LOVING when they kiss a smoker? Ack, no, I’m not going to look into your bunny eyes! Oh crap, I can’t look away…

Wikipedia ruined a perfectly good unanswerable question I had pondered for years before the internet became reality. This may be the first time I have been bummed by wikipedia. :frowning:

But on the good side, I have no idea what copper gluconate or hydrogenated cottonseed oil are.
Ok, so I know what hydrogenated cottonseed oil is but not if it’s a good or bad thing or what it does/tastes like.

Yep, even when Snowman was hauling it cross country.

Consult the “Pat Behind” series…

“…and has the most cargo room in its class.”

And who decided which vehicles are in which class? Oh, you did?

I had the impression that they had reformulated the diet version, and now the new formula tastes more like the regular than did the previous formula.

That said, Diet Dr. Pepper is the only drinkable diet soda, as far as I’m concerned.

Because these kinds of claims really give the impression that a whole lot of people don’t actually know what “specialize” means. It would appear that many people think it simply means “really good at something”. What it actually means is “focus on one thing to the exclusion of other things”. This may come from “General Practitioner” doctors telling patients, “I’m sending you to a specialist” and the patients hearing “I’m sending you to a better doctor, because I’m completely baffled”.

Back when Wells Fargo was more of a transportation company than a bank, they had a slogan “Across the Continent the Fargo Way”

Meaning what? There’s no claim of exactly where they go, speed, safety or comfort. Rather like Delta’s “We Get You There” that was mentioned earlier. We’ll get you there, but you might regret the experience.

I’ve never really figured out what it means when the local TV news says they’re “On Your Side.” Looking at my side right now, I see a couple skin tags and a scar, but no news. If “On Your Side” is supposed to infer that they somehow support me, who are we against? Newspapers?