Favorite meaningless advertising claims

[Irishman]

@Lamia

“Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper!”

It tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper than what? Coke? Lemonade? Gin?

@Mister_Rik

I had the impression that they had reformulated the diet version, and now the new formula tastes more like the regular than did the previous formula.

Yes, when this slogan came out, it was right after they reformulated Diet Dr Pepper, and were advertising that it tasted more like regular Dr Pepper than the old formula. Do they still use that slogan?

[Chef_Troy]

@pulykamell

Of course, I would say the same of your opinion, but to each their own. How do you feel about similar constructions like, say, “more perfect”? Either something is perfect or it isn’t right? Yet I don’t hear much squawking about “a more perfect union,” do you?

Actually, yeah, that line bothers me every time I watch Schoolhouse Rock. Once I get some more plutonium for the DeLorean, I plan to go back to before the Constitution was written and suggest to the Founders that “In order to form a more awesome Union” is a much better way to go.

[Cugel]

There’s an ad in Australia, where some beer is proclaimed to be “made of beer”. Of course they’re trying to be smart arses.

[ralph124c]

“It’s a floor wax…it’s DESSERT TOPPING”
Seriously…what does "100% organic"mean anyway? Is coffee that is NOT 100% organic partly inorganic? That would be a selling point.

[Lare]

@gotpasswords

Back when Wells Fargo was more of a transportation company than a bank, they had a slogan “Across the Continent the Fargo Way”

Meaning what? There’s no claim of exactly where they go, speed, safety or comfort. Rather like Delta’s “We Get You There” that was mentioned earlier. We’ll get you there, but you might regret the experience.

I would take it to mean that everything gets routed through North Dakota.

[cjepson]

@ralph124c

Seriously..what does "100% organic"mean anyway? Is coffee that is NOT 100% organic partly inorganic? That would be a selling point.

I think it’s supposed to mean that the product was grown without using pesticides, but I’m not sure if there’s a law covering the use of the word “organic” in advertising.

[Irishman]

With regards to food and agricultural products (including coffee), “organic” is a label that refers to the methods of cultivation. In particular, it has to do with not using synthetic chemicals like pesticides, fertilizer, antibiotics, food additives, genetic modifiers, and irradiation.

Organic certification

In some countries, organic standards are formulated and overseen by the government. The United States, the European Union, Canada and Japan have comprehensive organic legislation, and the term “organic” may be used only by certified producers. Being able to put the word “organic” on a food product is a valuable marketing advantage in today’s consumer market, but does not guarantee the product is legitimately organic. Certification is intended to protect consumers from misuse of the term, and make buying organics easy. However, the organic labeling made possible by certification itself usually requires explanation. In countries without organic laws, government guidelines may or may not exist, while certification is handled by non-profit organizations and private companies.

[Double_Foolscap]

@Larry_Mudd

Yes. Many years ago I worked with a guy whose promotional material (business cards, vehicle decals, etc) were marked “Panther Security - Specializing in Residential and Commercial Installations.” He could not be made to see how stupid that looked.

I used to live near a sports injury clinic which claimed to be “for all sport and non-sport related injuries”.

[Jack_Batty]

It reminds me of this radio ad I hear every so often for some internet radio contraption, but the guy sells it with: “Listen to music you may have heard, or never heard before.”

Kind of limited options there, if you ask me.

[Azeotrope]

My sister calls it “I’m Sorry It’s Not Butter”

[Fly_Sparge]

Brawndo - It’s got what plants crave!

[SCSimmons]

@Dread_Pirate_Jimbo

Any beer that markets itself as being “cold” is automatically off my list of items worth drinking, since the coldness of a beer is determined by the refrigeration used to keep it cold, not by the beer itself. If the best thing you can think of to say about your product is that it is cold, you’ve got a problem, particularly when you’re suggesting that the temperature is inherent to the product, which it obviously isn’t.

Hee-hee. Very late to this thread, but this reminds me of a radio commercial I heard last year for the restaurant chain Twin Peaks (a Hooters knock-off). They were touting two things: the coldness of their beer, and the voluptuousness of their wait staff. I’ve eaten (but not drunk beer) at that chain, and my immediate reaction to the ad was, “Their beer must be as bad as their food!”

In all fairness, their waitstaff really is very voluptuous. As far as I could tell, I was the only person there who noticed they served comestibles. They might as well have been eating styrofoam packing peanuts. Hell, maybe they were.

[Annie-Xmas]

@WhyNot

Yes, to both of these questions. It’s not misleading at all - many drugs, from Tylenol to anti-depressants, have unknown mechanisms of action. And anti-depressants do increase (not just don’t treat effectively, but increase) the incidence of suicidal thoughts or action, especially in particular populations like adolescents. That needs to be made known so people watch out for it and seek help.

But Tylenol doesn’t claim that it is believed to work by…

Image how successful an OTC pain reliever would be if:

1. It only helped 1/3 of the people who took it.
2. Other drugs were recommended if it didn’t help you.
3. It increased pain in some people.

[Leaffan]

“This weekend only, all reasonable offers will be accepted!”

A car dealership here uses this as a sales promotion a few times a year. I keep wondering to myself if, for the rest of the year, they only accept unreasonable offers.

[MacTech]

@Shoeless

Hah, that reminds me of something else they mentioned one time - car repair places with the motto “We specialize in all makes and models - foreign and domestic!”

I always thought there should be a knock-off version of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”.

I had a screensaver module in one of my old OS9 Macs that would randomly assemble foodstuffs into unusual menu items…

One of my favorite text strings was the “I can’t believe it’s not <food>” string, whereas the food tag would select from a randomized database of foodstuffs, most real, but there were some sci-fi foods in there as well…

Some of the menu items were;
I can’t believe it’s not spam
I can’t believe it’s not lettuce
I can’t believe it’s not lobster
I can’t believe it’s not hamburgers
I can’t believe it’s not sushi
I can’t believe it’s not gaqh
I can’t believe it’s not tarantula
I can’t believe it’s not carrots
I can’t believe it’s not largemouth bass
I can’t believe it’s not veal
I can’t believe it’s not pan galactic gargle blaster

[MagicEyes]

@CitizenPained

The snack that smiles back - Goldfish!

That actually creeps me out.

That part of the commercial doesn’t bother me too much, but I get a little squicked out at the next part…

“The wholesome snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off.” :eek:

[Chronos]

Seely Mattresses used to advertise that their mattresses contained special patented springs with unique technology such that the harder you pushed down on them, the harder they pushed back up. Yes, I’m sure they do: That’s just Newton’s Third Law. So does everything in the Universe, from bricks to clouds to dark matter. Well, except possibly for Captain America’s shield, but that doesn’t exist.

Or maybe what they actually meant was that the further you push it down, the harder it pushes back? There’s something to that; it isn’t true of everything in the Universe. Just almost everything. Especially springs, of any description. That’s Hooke’s Law.

[Irishman]

It’s a little more complicated than that. The problem with inner spring mattresses is that heavier parts of the anatomy require more support, or you wind up saggy. Most mattresses solve the problem by changing the diameter of the coils, which changes the spring rate.

They came up with a solution that uses a second spring inside the first that doesn’t kick in until the first depresses a bit. I don’t know if that works better or solves some other problem, but the intent of their ad was to say that as the mattress depresses, the resistance goes up. And tell that to a nontechnical audience.

[Blisters]

When I was a kid Cascade (dishwasher detergent) used to run ads claiming that it would get your dishes “virtually spotless.”

This confused me. What does that mean? “Nearly” spotless? “Practically” spotless? Can’t they do better than that?

[loshan]

@Cat_Whisperer

Women’s cosmetic-type products are terrible for this - “Moisturizer with Alloantoin 9!” “Hair conditioner with Dedoxynol!” They’re just making scientific-sounding shit up!

Some commercials getting up my nose right now are the ones where people say something like, “I’d like to stop paying my mortgage,” and some smartass walks by and says, “So stop paying your mortgage.” Piss off, m’kay?

There are also all the diet pills that say things like, “Helps you lose weight when combined with diet and exercise.” You know what else helps you lose weight? Diet and exercise.

I didn’t read the thread past here (yet), but I am itching (literally?) to say “Dove Nutrium Moisture”.

WTH is “nutrium”? Swamp rat sweat? :mad: